Grandma has always been a saver of papers and clothing and old letters. A few years ago Marcy and I threw away boxes and boxes of old school papers (Grandma had been an elementary school teacher for 24 years.) One year I organized her old photo albums. This year I have been going through her drawers.
What are we keeping and what are we throwing away? There is very little really that needs to be kept. Grandma doesn't see me going through her things, sorting them into piles of Keep, Give Away, Throw Away. She hardly cares anyway but she does catch onto a few conversations.
"I'm going to call somebody to take Grandma's old bed away."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Well, Grandma. You have this nice mechanical bed now. Isn't it nice? You don't need the old, hard, flat bed any more."
And Grandma agrees that this new bed is very nice and wonders how much it cost, and when she learns it is rented, she wonders why insurance will pay for such a nice bed. No one mentions that there will never be a need for her old bed again...
Same with some of the clothing I weed from her closet. She won't need her shorts or her winter coats or her dress up Sunday dresses. I pull out some of the stuff and surreptitiously slip the things into garbage bags that will go to the second hand shop.
On another day Marcy and Kiana and Leiya and I were going though Grandma's jewelry box. Nothing really valuable. Her engagement ring, a pearl necklace, costume jewelry beads and fancy broaches.
Marcy tells me to take what I want and as Grandma's daughter I should have first choice.
I will take home the pearls. Leiya and Kiana claimed some beads and chains. We set aside the engagement ring that will someday be passed on to Leiya.
Some of the jewelry I recognized from decades ago.
She doesn't. We prompt her.
"Was this broach yours or was it Bachan's (MY grandmother.)"
"I don't know... Take it."
It does seem sad to be doling out Grandma's belongings while she sleeps peacefully in the next room but thinking practically, I may not be in California again for a year and Marcy doesn't want to make the decisions herself.
It is part of the process.
I have been there Tanya, and sometimes it is easier to keep almost all, and sort later. I couldn't bring myself to discard anything in the jewellry for years. Many clothes went to places where they were so appreciated.So glad you have a super bed, that will make every day a heap more comfortable for you all,
ReplyDeleteI have a couple of those rhinestone and cultured pearl broaches from each of my grandmothers. I wear them on my dress coat at the holidays and I always seem to sit up straighter and remember to cross my legs when I sit.
ReplyDeleteThe days of your visit are going by so quickly!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I, too, had to go through my mother's things. I was surprised to find jewelry she wore when I was a child but hadn't worn in many years. The earrings that had memories for me, I cut the screwbacks off and with a sturdy glue, attached heavy duty magnets on the backs and made fridgie magnets out of them. Now I have some sparklies on my refrigerator and every time I look at them, I remember my mom some more.
ReplyDeleteI dread the day when I will have to do this and reading how you and your family are coping give me strength. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteKaren