Stuck in a groove

On this visit I have happily found Grandma in good spirits and quite cheerful and chatty in her own way.  She is completely bed bound now though Marcy reports that one of the nurses is able to get her into the shower stall and set her there.  I'll believe it when I see it!  Mostly Grandma sleeps and I wonder if that is because she has nothing to do or if it is vice versa.  Like the chicken and the egg...  Does Grandma sleep because there is nothing to do or does she do nothing because she is always sleeping?

The bedroom of Grandma's casita looks out on the back yard and two or three times a day Grandma comments on how big the tree has gotten.  But there is no TV in her room and no music source. Grandma has never had a TV and has never liked the noise and confusion of one and so I see little reason to give her a TV babysitter when I know all her life she has hated it.  Marcy stops in every few hours to feed, to change diapers, to give medications and occasionally Marcy's brother or one of the kids or even my brother may drop in for a minute or so.  Grandma used to read and do crossword puzzles but those days are behind her.  Now, sleeping is what she does best and as one of the nurses said "That's her job these days so let her sleep."

Now that I am visiting I sit beside the bed and talk with Grandma when she wakes up which she does every few minutes.  If nothing else, her hearing is excellent and when someone comes in the casita front door she calls out from her bedroom asking who is there.  Even when I am sitting by her bed and she seems sound asleep, her eyes will fly open when I tiptoe out of the room or even when the magazine that I am reading rustles. She seems to think that she should make conversation and so she asks me CONSTANTLY if Tetsu is coming this year and when he is coming and what today is, and she realizes that his arrival is still two weeks away.  She asks about Tetsu's mother and about what Takumi and Leiya are doing... but minutes later the same conversation starts all over again.  In two days I've answered her questions about Tetsu's arrival at least 20 times!

Isn't this aging process interesting.  I don't think my mother has Alzheimer's.  If so wouldn't she have forgotten our names and dates and the chronological order of things?  She is happy to hear about all her grandchildren and realizes if it is Sunday then my brother must not be working today, but the thought process repeats itself over and over again getting stuck in the same grooves.

As always, Grandma is an animal lover and she is so happy to have the cat come to visit or one of the dogs. 

She takes special pleasure at her teddy bear and she coos at it constantly talking to it, asking it where it has gotten to under her blankets.  Yet I don't think she is confused about whether it is a living thing or not.  Just something cute and cuddly that she likes to have nearby.

This is one of the better pictures of Grandma.  Truthfully I am appalled at how her face and expressions have changed these past months.  I wonder if I should be photographing her at all with her lower eyelids all droopy and startlingly red, the eyes crusted and barely opening.  To my eyes, not a pretty portrait though these are the features of my mother at age 94.  It is true that she still smiles prettily and ALWAYS has a compliment ready or something nice to say.  She cannot help that she appears more and more decrepit especially to the eyes of her loved ones who once knew her as active and opinionated.  Ahh...  In 30 years this is what I will look like to my own children...

Yesterday I sat beside Grandma's bed knitting away at the vest I will be making for Tetsu. 

"How many sweaters and vests have you made Tetsu?"

"35...  36."

"Have you kept them all?"

"Some I've reknitted.  Some I've given away.  Some I wear myself.  He usually has four or five favorites that he continues to wear all winter."

"And how many sweaters and vests have you made Tetsu?"

Stuck in another groove...

Leaving for the States

Friday was my last morning at the crosswalk and I spent my half hour there before hurrying home to throw the last items into my suitcase.  On this trip to the States I had little in my suitcases of my own...  mostly extra things that Takumi wanted to take back and won't be able to fit into his suitcase...

By the way...  I took a photo of the request for time off that Tetsu wrote for me to turn in to the city office with my last report of crosswalk duty log.  Talk about being formal!  Tetsu likes to write with a brush... and that makes it all the more official looking I guess...

Back to Friday.  Before dropping me off at the bus station we made a stop at Tetsu's mother's again.  I don't know if that will be Takumi's last visit before he goes home but I have a feeling so.  Obaachan was up and cooking breakfast when we got there. 

We were all surprised at what a big breakfast she can eat!  Simmered pumpkin, simmered carrots, two sausages, boiled cabbage and boiled Chinese cabbage, fried bean sprouts, onions and green peppers and two eggs!  And some cafe o' lait! 

It is her good appetite that keeps Obaachan so healthy!

I pointed out to Takumi that if he was a good grandson, (and I a good daughter-in-law) we would be burning incense at Obaachan's little Buddhist altar to honor Tetsu's father (whom I never had a chance to meet) but that is a custom that our family never adopted and none of us would really know what to do. 

Instead I took a picture of Takumi's Ojiichan (grandfather) that Obaachan keeps on her wall... with Takumi nearby.  Can't tell if there is any resemblance there...

And then I was off to the airport and spent the last few hours looking around the airport alone.  Off I go on the Friendly Skies of United!

The last days before being in the States again

I have arrived in California!  Yeah, the 10 hour flight is behind me and I've slept my first night on Grandma's sofa.   My niece seems to be doing some traveling of her own so she is not around but every one else is home and happy.

Grandma is not much different from when I last saw her in April and she talks and is aware and asks the same questions over and over as usual.  She knows I'm here as I've already caught her trying to get out of bed to come give me blankets...  Of course she really doesn't move around outside of her bed but she doesn't seem to remember that.  It was nice to realize that she remembers that I'm on her sofa though.

Grandma and Marcy keep up a continuous comedy show with Marcy's comments during diaper changing keeping Grandma in peals of laughter.

"Now stop that laughing Grandma!  Every time you laugh I get another stream of pee and I have to change your diaper all over again!"

How Marcy makes a diaper change seem like a gala event I don't know!

But I need to back up a couple of days here as I missed recounting most of Takumi's visit to Japan.  (He is still in Nikko.)

Tetsu took one day off from work to spend with Takumi and Takumi wanted to visit the temples and shrines of Nikko.  We live quite close to one of the most beautiful and historic areas of Japan and most tourists will come to visit the temples and shrines if they get to Japan.  Japanese school children will almost all have a school excursion to Nikko too...  EXCEPT the kids that live in the area!  They go to visit places far away.  Anyway, Takumi said he was always recommending American friends to visit Nikko yet he hadn't been to the temple and shrine area himself.  First we made a stop at Tetsu's favorite Katsu (pork cutlet) restaurant and then we drove another 15 minutes to the Toshogu (shrine) of Nikko.

None of us are too up on our Japanese history, but the ruling lord of the Edo era had the Toshogu shrine built and then made the long trek to the shrine along a road of towering cedar trees (and our house is at the edge of the world's longest cedar grove, Nikko Kaido.)

Once at Toshogu we stopped to visit Rinnoji, a temple that was being renovated.  The interesting thing about the religions of Japan is that Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples all are within walking distance or on the same grounds or share the same roads and it is difficult (for me) to recognize if we are at a shrine or a temple.  It doesn't seem to make much difference to Japanese either and friends will never know if some important historical landmark is Shinto or Buddhist.  No photography inside the huge temple being reconstructed... this was part of the outdoor garden.

This was another temple between the other major buildings.  The fall leaves were just beginning to turn colors and everything was oh so beautiful on this overcast day.

The Toshogu shrine is famous for the legend (and the carvings) of the three monkeys, "Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil".  There are more carving about the evils and joys of life on this shrine but these are the famous three monkeys.

Because the shrine and the temple and other historic sites are all deep within the forest and mountains of Nikko the stone lanterns and roofs are covered in moss and lichen.

 Takumi, checking out some of the guide panels explaining the history.

 Oops. Another stone lantern.

And this is a shot of the famous carving of the sleeping cat.  The sleeping cat is the symbol of peacefulness.  I first visited Japan with my family when I was 11 and being the cat lover that I am even then, I remember being excited about seeing the sleeping carving cat and buying a sleeping cat trinket.  I must have walked these very paths 50 years ago with my mother and father and brother.  I only remember the sleeping cat though...

Much of the temple and shrine area is being renovated and it takes some 8 years or so to do the whole process so it is hard to avoid the ongoing construction.  I was happy to photograph this construction worker walking past a newly painted outer wall of the shrine.

 A lot of gold leaf and red lacquer.

 As we got close to evening the tourists thinned out.

 Looking out over the countryside.

Shrine or temple?  I don't know....  The fortunes are tied on to neighboring trees and bushes...  Something about leaving bad fortune behind oneself....

 Tetsu and I kept our cameras handy.  Takumi is a Smartphone photographer.

I was teaching Takumi the proper way to purify himself before visiting the shrine...  I had just watched a TV program spoofing the way that no one really knows how to do this purifying process properly and I had remembered the steps involved.

"With the right hand dip out one full ladle of water and pour some of the water over your left hand.  Change hands and pour some of the water over your right hand.  Change hands and pour some of the water into the left hand and slurp it from your hand purifying your mouth (not from the ladle heaven forbid!)  Pour more water over the left hand to re-purify it and then using both hands, tip the ladle upwards to pour the remaining water over the handle of the ladle itself."

Me demonstrating, good Christian that I am, who learns these things from TV.

 The view of the shrine entrance.

 Takumi Taking in the beauty of the area.

Toshogu and the surrounding temples are definitely places to visit when in Japan and Takumi was very pleased have seen the area anew (or maybe for the first time... he wasn't sure).
 

Day service center visit

We actually didn't see much of Takumi yesterday.  I don't think Tetsu ever laid eyes on him at all!

Takumi got up after Tetsu left for work, but he was around for an hour or two to meet my friends who come on Tuesday mornings.  He took off before noon to visit an elementary school friend taking Choco with him.  Choco!  The dog who doesn't like people has allowed Takumi to be lord and master!

I thought they'd be back by at least 3:00 but no word and it began to rain heavily so finally near 5:00 I pulled the memories of how to get to Takumi's friend's house out from the depths of my brain and went over to at least pick Choco up!  I couldn't see the two of them walking home in the rain in the dark and I couldn't see that, in the event that the friend would offer to drive Takumi home that they could put a muddy dog in their car nor that Choco would be particularly friendly to the friend.

Choco had spent quite a bit of time tied up under an outdoor tractor shed (because she barked so much next to the friend's house) but she was quiet when I retrieved her and brought her home.

Takumi showed up a couple hours later but left within minutes to go to ANOTHER friend's house and that was the last I saw of him.  He will take the train back to Nikko this morning I guess.

So...  The only photos I've taken are of the day before when we visited Tetsu's office.

We went directly from the preschool where I dressed up as a Halloween witch and did a pseudo Trick-or-Treat hour.  (The kids get dressed up too and they can receive a treat and have to say "thank you".)  Some of the older people at Tetsu's day service center saw me last year when I came as a witch too and they seem to get a charge out of me as much as the children.

 Takumi was introduced to everyone.

And then we chatted in the reception area which, as you can see, is filled to the brim with all of my patchwork.  Some bright quilt is on every single wall and surface!  I think Tetsu's overdone the cheerful mode...  Sort of over powering...  And he and I ARE a bit worried about what the place is going to look like once he retires and takes everything down in a couple of years...  I have made a couple of quilts just for the day service center but I don't think I'm generous enough to donate EVERYTHING!

 And a rare photo of the three of us.

Takumi's home!

As you might have guessed, life is a whirlwind when a son returns to the homeland after an 8 year break!  I'm trying to spend as much time with him as possible while at the same time trying to tie up loose ends before I go to California in three days.

Let's see.  Where do I start?

Tetsu and I drove to the Narita Airport on Sunday and were able to welcome Takumi with hugs and picture taking!

The waiting.

The hugs!

Takumi doesn't look too worn out from his nearly 20 hour trip...  (11 hours to Peking, 5 hours layover and 3 hours to Japan.)  He had also just come back from India earlier this month (Germany layover, New York layover) and a business trip to Chicago after that too, so he's been in and out of airports all month!

Our first stop was to get some refreshment for us all and we found a juice bar.

On the 4 hour trip home we passed a huge buddha that stands watch over the countryside but it was nearly dark and difficult to take any photos.  The perspective is out of kilter on this photo but it towers up into the sky and we could even see it from three miles away.

We finally arrived home around 9:00 pm and Takumi got his first glimpse of our house after we had the kitchen redone and the floors re-laid.  The animals seem to remember him as Choco and most of the cats had met Takumi 8 years before but Mi is an addition.  Interestingly, Mi took to Takumi the quickest and even slept with him the first night.

Yesterday I took Takumi with me to the preschool but haven't gotten the photos from his Smart phone yet. 

We stopped at Tetsu's work place too but those photos are still in Tetsu's camera.

Takumi wanted to stop at the prefecture gymnasium where he and Tetsu did judo together from when he was only 5 years old.  No one was there but Takumi found it interesting that not a thing had changed after all these years.  The tatami mat area is used for judo and the flooring area is used for kendo which is a Japanese sword martial art.

From there we made a stop at Obaachan's and she was overjoyed to see Takumi again.  She hadn't been feeling well when we got there but once she started talking she brightened up and chattered on and on telling Takumi all about her life before she'd gotten married and what she had learned over the years.  Takumi was amazed at the clarity of her mind and explanations and descriptions of details.

"I've never met anyone as old as Obaachan is who can carry on such a clear conversation!  I'd sure like to know what her secret is to growing old."

And Obaachan was so pleased to have all the attention of her long lost grandson and to feel the warmth and love that Takumi gives so freely.

Today Takumi has spent time with my friends who come for English once a week and now he has gone off (with Choco) to spend some time with an old elementary school friend!

And THAT'S why I have some blogging time right now!

Finishing projects and getting ready

Tetsu and I are out of here in a couple of hours to head for Narita International Airport.  Takumi is flying in today!

The last time Takumi visited Japan was in 2008.  It's hard to believe that it was so long ago!  I guess he doesn't get homesick for his childhood home.  Of course I see Takumi in California every year and Tetsu even gets to California once every two or three years so it is not like we don't make great memories with him regularly.  And of course with the digital age, he calls fairly regularly or we video chat so sometimes it doesn't really seem like there is an ocean between us.

We haven't told Tetsu's mother yet that Takumi will be here this week.  She has always bemoaned that at her age she will never see him again (and I know that will be the first thing she'll say when he says good-bye to her this trip).  We had considered letting him just walk into her apartment as a surprise but that might be too much for her heart so we'll stop by to see her on our way to the airport and let her know we are bringing him back with us.

Our timing isn't really too great this year as I fly to California this Friday leaving Takumi and Tetsu for the weekend, and Takumi flies back to California on Monday after attending his friend's wedding.  Too bad we couldn't get our flights coordinated...

So this week I've been finishing up projects so that I can spend most of my time with my son while he is visiting.  My mother's fabric postcard has been made and I will send it this week.  I won't be back in Japan until December 2nd so I may have to take some embroidery materials with me to work on November's card.  I did that sitting by my mother in March too earlier this year.

I also went ahead and made another New York Beauty Block so now I have an odd number of blocks and will have to make at least two more at some point.  I don't think I'll try to do another block while in California.  I'm already carting knitting needles, yarn, embroidery floss, and hoop and tatting things with me!

Tetsu and I are very excited to have Takumi back in Japan with us for a few days!