Weekend spent

Sorry for the absence.  There is always something going on... good and not so good.  Time alone when I plan to get on the computer is often interrupted, sometimes by Grandma, sometimes by invitations to go off with Marcy, and the weekend held a surprise visit from Takumi and Julieta.

So.  Update on Grandma.  Not great.

There were nights last week when Grandma got flustered and upset when the room lights got turned off at night though she's always slept with a nightlight burning...  Two or three times a night she'd start calling me from the sofa where I slept in the other room (actually she probably wanted Marcy) and I'd come in and she would want me to sit with her.

"It is 3:00 AM Grandma.  Go back to sleep."

Another time she wanted me to get in bed with her and I ended up drowsing on the edge of her bed with the bed rail sticking into me.  Not conducive to sleep.  So nights are getting harder.  It is early evening now but she has wanted me with her again and so I have my computer set up on her bedside table as I type....

There was one time last week when my brother and Marcy and I were out in the evening later than I'd planned and I remembered that I hadn't turned the light on in her room before I'd left.  We have this nifty way to check on her with a baby camera set-up and so I tapped into my iPhone to see if Grandma was sleeping or if anyone had thought to turn a light on for her.  No... and gasp!!!  Grandma is at the foot of the bed in the dark trying to get out of bed!!!

"Marcy!  Grandma is trying to get out of bed.  Is anyone home?  Call Mark!"

Marcy got on her iPhone and saw the situation and she called her brother who was in the main house watching TV.

"Mark!  RUN to Grandma's casita!  She's trying to get out of bed!"

It was a good thing Mark was home and he got the light on and stayed with her until we arrived.  Grandma said she was trying to go home...

Yesterday afternoon too, when Mark went to check on Grandma she was frantic and crying though there didn't seem to be a reason.  Again Mark stayed with her until we got home but by then she was in a full fledged panic and hyperventilating and pleading for help.  We got her on oxygen which just made her more upset and finally Marcy resorted to anxiety medication that had been prescribed for Grandma but that we have never needed to use before.  Until the medication kicked in she was confused and asking for help which threw me into a complete panic myself.  I just wanted to run...  let someone else deal with it.  I had no idea how to help her and she responds better to Marcy anyway.  When things finally settled down (I was madly messaging Leiya and Tetsu just wanting some comforting words) I still felt I was being deserted when Marcy went back to her own house for the night... I am really lousy in an emergency situation...

Marcy and I have had the "what we are going to do when the end comes" conversation and both of us so wish Grandma could avoid this panicked stage with a caught animal look in her eyes...  Physically though, all the nurse's numbers tell us that Grandma's condition hasn't changed.  I'm a nervous wreck...

What has been good this week?

Well, I made it to my friend's house and back using my brother's car.  I always have a great time at Jane's house and she always has fun things in store for us to do.  She lives in a palace (to my eyes) and she is the most organized, scheduled person I've ever known. We always discuss books we've read over the year, trips she's taken, and even conversations about the political atmosphere in the US.  Every year she makes us tostadas for lunch and we have our Peanut Butter Frozen Yogurt.  This year her daughter was visiting for the weekend and so four of us played a couple hands of Canasta. 

In the evening we walked to a local luxury movie theater which was a first for me!  Reclining leather seats, waiters bringing cocktails and serving dinner as we watched a movie.  I wish Tetsu had been there to experience ultra luxury!  We watched Mama Mia 2 which I just loved!  

Back home we spent the rest of the evening watching Hidden Figures on Jane's TV and Sunday morning we ate breakfast while listening to church services on the family's iPad.  It seemed a very Californian way to worship and enjoy each other's company at the same time.  We parted ways with me heading home and Jane and her daughter and husband off to enjoy a few hours at Disneyland.  Very Southern Californian!  

And not long after I got back, Takumi and Julieta-san rolled in to spend some time with us.  The next day was Julieta-san's birthday so we all went out to dinner (Mark Grandma-sat again) and had the restaurant bring Julieta-san birthday ice cream.

So that is how my days are going...  I actually have a major quilting activity going on and hopefully I'll be able to post about that tomorrow.  In the meantime...  I sure hope Grandma will have a peaceful night...
 

The blahs

I have been in California for two weeks now.  Already half my stay done.  I drove my brother's new car for the first time yesterday to ready myself for a drive south that I'm taking this weekend.  I felt I needed to know how to drive his car before I took off with it for a couple of days so Marcy had me drive her to the local deli. 

A couple of years ago I backed (bumped!  It was merely a bump!) into someone's car in the Target parking lot and it has traumatized me for driving in California.  But it is either drive myself or use Uber to get an hour south of here (and then back again) to visit a friend this weekend and Marcy insisted that the car was available...  I won't feel completely at ease again until I am back here on Sunday afternoon...  I'm stressing out already!

My food consumption has escalated while in California, partly because there is not much to do while I am at home and my hand reaches out for munchies...  I have tried to keep only nuts and fruit within visibility but there are ALWAYS left-over sandwiches, tortilla chips, caramels and chocolate in the other house and as there are no set meal times during the summer, I will give up on expecting a meal and start to munch and then it turns out we are going somewhere after-all so I will end up eating two meals...  Not to mention the frozen yogurts when we are out, or the Starbucks.  I know... I know...  I can hardly blame my lack of will power on someone else... just don't order anything!  But that is part of my low mood.  I feel sluggish and fat and unhealthy and out of control.  I'm sure it has something to do with diet but I've already slipped into the "it's summer!  Why not!" mentality.  I'm going to hate myself by the time I get back to Japan.

Swimming of course is out which is funny because there is a swimming pool (a cold one!) in the back yard that no one uses... and it isn't possible to swim laps in it of course.  So that mode of exercise has been ended... but I'm still hitting my 10000 steps a day walking quota just by getting out and home before 7:00 am every morning.  Koa and I walk about 20 minutes after 7:00 pm by walking a double jaunt to the mailbox and then to the neighbors' and back.  Our longer neighborhood walk was curtailed a year ago when Koa pulled me and I fell and ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of the summer.  Tetsu is the one that has forbidden me to walk Koa.  (I'm hedging with the walk to the mailbox and neighbors').

Grandma is not cooperating because she has bedsores on her rump which we are trying to keep clean and dry and pressure free.  She cries out like she's been stabbed every time we try to change the bandages and though Marcy can wave it off with,

"Oh Grandma!  You're such a drama queen!" 

and a laugh (with Grandma!), I jump at every cry and apologize profusely and then get very frustrated when I find her back on her rump again. 

"Grandma!  Stay on your side!  We're trying to get the bedsore healed!" 

"Bedsore?  Is there a bedsore?" 

"I guess SO!  You keep yelling every time I try to bandage it!"

Who is the loony one who expects a different result from the exact same set of circumstances in the exact same situation?  Grandma is NOT going to remember to stay off her back no matter how many times I tell her. 

On the humorous side.  I had brought some Japanese snacks for Grandma. They are chocolate covered pretzel sticks called Pocky and they are very popular in Japan because the chocolate does not melt if you hold the pretzel part.  I brought peach flavored ones and banana flavored ones with white chocolate. (The package is the peach flavored ones...  Grandma ate the banana flavored ones.)

One morning for Grandma's breakfast I had given her some potato salad... a couple Ritz crackers with peanut butter... orange juice... and two Pocky sticks.  (So, not a great nutritious breakfast.  There are days when I just look for edible things for her in the refrigerator.)  I looked over at her eating...  Grandma is eating her Ritz cracker with chopsticks...  Chopsticks?

Grandma's banana flavored Pocky sticks had become chopsticks!  I laughed so hard!  She is decrepit and her hands shake terribly but Grandma can still use chopsticks!  With her left hand no less!  And it is not like she grew up using chopsticks either.  There have always been chopsticks in our house but our family doesn't NORMALLY eat with chopsticks... 

Grandma ate her breakfast and when I pointed it out she ate her chopsticks too!

Handwork in California

Though I am not getting as much sewing in as I had hoped, I did bring some patterns from a kit my patchwork group had done a couple of years ago just so that I would have hand work at hand.  This is a quilt kit called A Kittens Tale, and I brought some scraps and four patterns with me this trip.

I seem to have forgotten a bit more embroidery at the bottom of the first block.  And this will also get some yo-yo flowers at the ends of those stems.

The second block is still a WIP and needs a lot more embroidery on it...

I got waylaid on the first two blocks because I remembered that I needed to make a fabric postcard for the month of July and as Grandma had been watching me make the other two blocks I made a similar kitten from left over fabric scraps from a box of years' past projects.

Up on Grandma's wall are the hanging post cards...  But wait!  The January postcard from this year is missing!  I pulled up the image on my computer to show Marcy but she says she doesn't remember seeing it so maybe it never arrived?  Is that possible?  It was the card of a stack of tea-cups...  It is very possible that it has gotten lost in Grandma's casita so I have moved some furniture and looked through the stack of post cards from years past but I haven't come across it yet.

Let's see...  February is the cupcake card...  March is the rabbit card.  April is the birds...  May is the stumpwork.  June is the flower and July is the cat...  Yep, that's only 6.  I'll keep looking.

I did come to the aid of Grandma's neighbor when she asked if I would look at an alb that she had offered to fix for her priest.  I went over and we determined that instead of replacing the lost snaps on it that I could put in Velcro for the fastener.  The alb is such an antique though that actually there were a lot of seams that needed to be resewn so I spent an afternoon repairing that.  So pretty!

So that has been what my hands have been up to this week.  I hope to get more done on the embroidery front today!

The customs of mourning

The household had an upset yesterday when Marcy got word that her father who lives in a nursing home in Arizona had passed away.

Though Marcy and her brother have never been close to their father, they did go to Arizona in June to see him, first for the purpose of signing papers the family was required to sign to remove him from life support.  But just before they arrived in Arizona her father regained consciousness and so they were able to speak with him.  Since then Marcy has had Facetime sessions with her father via her younger sister...  So it was all a surprise yesterday because everyone had been expecting the father to start rehabilitation soon.

There was a flurry of activity as Marcy and Mark made plans to go to Arizona again but in the end the other children said they would handle all arrangements and the trip to Arizona was cancelled.  All is somewhat back to normal...  Though Marcy is sad, she also is an extremely positive person and goes on joking and laughing at things as usual.  There are no funeral arrangements and the business of cremation and scattering of ashes is... businesslike.  A facility will handle it all and that is that.

This way of thinking about death and funerals and mourning is the complete opposite of Japanese customs and I thought I'd record some of the conversations, some of the thoughts I've had about the subject while in Japan and about recognizing the cultural differences.

A few days before I flew back to California, one of my neighbors, Mrs. Y, was in a complete tiz about a funeral that she had attended of an elderly aunt.  The daughter-in-law of the aunt was a Jehovah Witness and hadn't attended HER OWN MOTHER-IN-LAW'S funeral.  Appalling!!!

The reason given, by the chagrined cousin who served as MAIN MOURNER at the funeral, was that as a JW, the wife wasn't allowed to attend the funeral because it was against her religion.  This may be the same with JWs all over the world but it does not go well with Japanese society.

"The woman is an embarrassment to the family!  How dare she flaunt her religion!  She can believe whatever she wants, but she can't officially be of another religion because she is the wife of the eldest son!  She has duties to the ancestors and to the family grave!"

I had actually already heard this rant months ago but it was still rankling my friend.  Mrs. Y went into a rage again about crazy religions and what an abomination not to attend a funeral!  Mr. Y got into the rant also and he proclaimed loudly that as the eldest son who had DUTIES to take care of the family altar and the family grave, a woman should not be allowed to belong to a different religion from her husband and if HIS wife ever joined another religion he would divorce her!  So there!  Mrs. Y assured him that she would never do such a thing, that what could be more important than attending all the family's relatives' funerals and memorial services (held at 1, 3, 7, 13 anniversaries of the loved one's death) and visiting their graves four times a year.  It was just common sense and common courtesy.

I stayed out of the argument as it was obvious that Mr. and Mrs. Y were not going to be very open minded about the different ways people commemorate the passing of loved ones, but Tetsu did meekly point out that in the global view of things, the way people celebrated/mourned loved ones' passings differed country by country and culture by culture, and that what was common courtesy and duty in Japan was different in other countries.  (Yeah Tetsu!) 

Mr. and Mrs. Y seem to forget that we are Christian and do not adhere to the Buddhist way of mourning, but I guess we are excused for eccentric behavior because Tanya is a foreigner.  The lighting of incense at a funeral has never bothered Tetsu much who doesn't bring attention to his faith, and I am excused from the custom because... Tanya is a foreigner (again.) 

The number of guests at a funeral in Japan is a point of pride and especially the number of Buddhist priests who preside.  The mourning wear is nearly a uniform with everyone wearing black, women wearing one strand of pearls.  The family will always provide a feast after the funeral, there will be ceremonies at the crematorium, before and after the funeral, a month after the funeral, at the interring of the ashes etc. etc.

I explain this to Marcy and she about swoons with the rigidness, the rules, the social conformity in Japan. 

"Why should we HAVE to wear black!  We get to CELEBRATE the person's life!"

On the other hand, when I related the tale to my Japanese students of my own father's passing years ago; of my not returning the to States at the time, no funeral, the businesslike approach again to cremation and scattering of ashes; one lady honestly piped up and said,

"It seems so cold and unfeeling the American way.  I feel so sorry for your poor father."

Different customs.  I sort of understand both ways of thinking...

Marcy's father also will not have any of the trappings of ceremonial mourning from his family, but the children, Marcy, Mark, his other two offspring, did what they could for him while he was alive and each of them are upset and sad at his passing.  Tears have been shed.  

More time with Takumi

My day spent with Takumi was great fun and we headed out to the trendy cafes and boutiques within walking distance from Takumi's apartment. 

The landscape is so dry but attractively arranged with long waving bushes that at least imply that there is a cool breeze about.  The "florist" shops seem to specialize in cute cactus arrangements, even garbage receptacles are topped by sandy cactus gardens.

This was an interesting fountain quadrangle with the water trickling down from drum cans!  It also made the surroundings seem much cooler than they really were...

There were lots of these little trailers that served as shops.  This one was a macaroon shop, another one was a jewelry shop.

The shopkeepers just sat out on a lawn chair and watched people pass by or enjoyed a book in the shade.  Everyone had a very cavalier attitude about the purpose of buying and selling...

We chose to have lunch at a Cuban restaurant of course with outdoor seating (most of these places had outdoor seating!)  There's Marcy!

And there's Julieta-san!

Lunch was fantastic!  I had a chicken salad with papaya.  And we all shared a plate of empanadas.

For dessert we stopped at an ice cream shop that freezes their ice cream with nitrogen!  What does that mean!?  A visually cooling experience.

 And the ice cream was wonderful!

We went back to the apartment and Facetimed Tetsu for his birthday and he also got a tour of Takumi and Julieta-san's apartment and then we headed out again to a Pandora shop so that Takumi could buy me a charm/bead for my birthday earlier this month.

Takumi chose a blue bead that says California on it for my bracelet.

Marcy and I finally headed home at around 8:00 at night.  Such a fun day!

California style

I am getting behind on my blogging here.  Yesterday I spent the day with Takumi and Julieta at their apartment and got to see the area where they live.  I was so impressed with how they've fixed up their apartment.  My son has graduated from a bachelor's pad that he had been living in in someone's garage to a really nice trendy apartment!  He looks pretty trendy to match it!  How nice to be so young and on top of the world!

Let's see... What have I got in my photo files?

Let's start with flowers...  I go off on my morning walks and find different types of flora.  I think I take a picture of this same tree every summer.  A type of Bottle Brush?

Bougainvillea in a pretty pink shade that turns to orange.  There are the deep pink flowering bushes too but this color is a bit unusual.

Rabbits abound around here which surprises me because there are coyotes in the hills that come down at night.  When I go for a walk in the morning there are always four or five bunnies hopping around the driveway.

 And the squirrels have a field day jumping from tree to tree all around the heavy overgrowth.

Okay...  So much for wildlife.

Some things I've noticed that seem very "Californian" to me.

Whenever we go out Marcy reminds me that I need to bring a water bottle with me or offers me one already cooled from the refrigerator.  Bottled water seems to be a lot less expensive than in Japan especially if one stocks up at Costco or Sam's club (which the family does.  They also have water delivered to the house.)  Takumi too, made sure everyone was carrying water when we left the house yesterday to walk a couple of blocks to a cafe for lunch.  He also showed me the elaborate water filter system that they had installed in the apartment right after they moved in.  Water stays up front in Californians' concerns.

When I visit Grandma's neighbors, the offer is always a glass of water "with or without ice?"  In Japan it would be tea, usually hot, or even coffee, hot or cold, and I'll always make a pot of coffee when I have guests over.  Water?  I don't think I'd ever offer a guest water unless it was at a meal I'd made...  (Which is next to never.)

Another thing that was seemed Californian to me was the way Takumi and Julieta offered their tube of sunscreen to us before we went out.  "Make sure you get your feet too.  You don't want a sandal burn."  They seemed to be well stocked with body and facial sunscreen for anyone who might need it.  Definitely a California thing (maybe Hawaii too?).

 This is the type of California weather where Takumi and Julieta live. 

And this is the apartment complex.  I think it so neat that it is like walking through a little park to get to their apartment.  This type of layout isn't seen in Japan.  Apartments are still sort of block-like structures alongside a road.  This may be a California thing too...  Like a little community back here.

Of course they live not all that far from the ocean so I suppose the sun is stronger and the day warms up more than other places though there seemed to be a nice breeze all afternoon.  A lot of outdoor venues for eating and relaxing and just enjoying the climate and scenery...  No mosquitoes I guess which is what keeps Japanese indoors!

More later!

Hospice care

Let's see...  What is going on around here...?  Someone asked me about the hospice care that Grandma is getting but I actually don't understand how the system works myself...  And then I asked my brother and he said "I dunno.  Ask Marcy.  She's the one who arranged it."  And then I asked Marcy and she said, "You know, I don't know why Grandma qualifies either...  And I'm not sure at all who is paying for all this.  I hope someone isn't going to unload a bill on us at some later date!"

So no one in my family really knows...  I feel the same way when I hear all the conditions and benefits and exceptions and options and clauses etc. when dealing with insurance policies (which Tetsu and I just did a few weeks ago in Japan.)  Even with everything spread out and an explanation given I shut the door on the agent and have absolutely no idea how it all works...  Marcy and I were THERE and filled out the hospice paper work three years ago but neither of us seems to know how it all works...

Grandma (who is actually my mother but she's been Grandma to everybody for the past 20 years at least) was failing... this was three years ago.  We had already determined she had dementia as she kept repeating things and asking the same questions.  But I don't think she was ever diagnosed so I don't know what KIND of dementia she has. 

Grandma began "donating" money to charity organizations that were actually scamming her (this was back when my kids were in jr. high school!) so we changed her phone number on her without her consent and started filtering her mail.

She had gotten lost a couple of times on her way driving home from her volunteer job... she had run through a stop sign and insisted that the sign hadn't been there a week ago when we all knew it has been there for over 50 years.  So my brother took her car away from her. Anyway things began to creep up on us all. 

Marcy had always told me that if Grandma ever got to the wandering stage or if she didn't recognize her family or if she needed diaper care, that she was out of it and Grandma would have to be placed in a facility.  And I am fine with that as what can I say?  I'm not here.  I'm not helping.  Everything falls on Marcy and she has to set her own limits.

Grandma never did get to the wandering stage.  She was content to stay in her casita.  She was never much for cooking anyway so no one had to worry about things burning on the stove.  And even now Grandma recognizes family.  But diaper care?!  Well, Marcy has every right to throw in the towel but she does it all cheerfully.

"Only for you, Grandma!" she says.  And Grandma just happily lets herself be wiped and peered at and there is absolutely no embarrassment, no wondering if this situation isn't strange.  It's like she has no idea that all people don't have bathroom habits this way.

The change for Marcy I think came 8 years ago when her own mother died at age 62.  All the things that she has wanted to do for her own mother got taken away within a month of illness and Marcy's mother, who was nearly 20 years younger than Grandma said very near the end of her life,

"Marcy, now you take care of Grace." (my mother).  "You do for her what you'd do for me."  (Or something like that... )  And Marcy took those words to heart and has always taken care of Grandma like she's her own mother.

Three years ago though Marcy told me that she just couldn't take Grandma to doctor appointments anymore.  Grandma wasn't really walking, just getting to the car, getting into the car, getting out of the car, moving onto an examining table, all that just left Grandma in tears and then Marcy would end up in tears too.

"I'm just telling you Tani, that I don't think it is worth all the anxiety and upsetting that it is causing her."

And Grandma's general physician agreed and said that there wasn't really that much he could do anymore.  Vitamin shots didn't seem to make much difference, things that they were keeping track of, weren't worth the hassle of bringing Grandma in, and so he said that when the family felt ready he would sign papers for recommending hospice care.  (There is an aneurysm issue that I've never known about that puts Grandma on the brink of what could be life terminating....)

I gather that once a doctor signs the papers, then the insurance that Grandma has (and she was a school teacher for 25 years and worked until she was 70) gets in touch with whatever hospice service the insurance has an agreement.  There was no choosing WHICH hospice service we preferred and it sounds like hospice is private.

And yes, hospice service is limited to 6 months... which the doctor diagnosed as the probable duration of Grandma's life.  But once Grandma was under hospice care then the care with her regular doctor was ended and since then the hospice doctor prescribes medication, decides if she needs more equipment etc.  And Marcy tells me that hospice sends out an evaluation nurse (different from the regular nurse who comes to the house twice a week) every three months to determine if hospice care is needed... meaning if Grandma's life expectancy is less than 6 months...  And I guess everyone is surprised that Grandma just keeps on going!  I know I was given "counseling" at the end of the first month of hospice care because I was going back to Japan and wouldn't be back for a year.  ...did I understand that Grandma wasn't expected to live that long and that I wouldn't be seeing her again?

I have no idea what Marcy would do if hospice terminated their care...  I think she has talked with the bath nurse about privately hiring her if it ever came to that.  And while Grandma doesn't get worse, well, she doesn't get better either.  And I suppose worse can mean a lot of things.  Grandma has a bedsore this summer and that is being treated.  Her skin is so thin that she is covered in bruises which none of us have any idea how she gets.  My brother put in a monitoring camera so the family can watch Grandma sleeping during the day.  And she woke me up in the middle of the night last night disoriented and babbling about needing to be somewhere because someone was waiting for her.  "Tell me about it in the morning."  And I guess Mark, Marcy's brother, sleeps now in Grandma's casita when I'm not here because hospice recommended someone be in the house all night.  So there are minimal changes that probably point at things getting "worse".

I visited Grandma's neighbor yesterday who said she felt guilty because she didn't come over more "because seeing Gracie is so depressing."  That surprised me because I don't see anything depressing with Grandma.  She is happy, at least content.  She has a lot of people helping her.  If she wasn't aware anymore... if she was hooked to tubes...  if she was alone in a hospital room with no one around, maybe that is depressing.  But we all look for the good in all our situations.

Hospice has made Grandma's care VERY good for all of us.

Handwork

My days (our days) are still slow around here and I wile away the hours sometimes reading, sometimes doing handwork.

I had brought in my carry on bag my ever ready box of tatting thread and shuttles ready to do tatting in an airport waiting room or even on the plane, but with lights out for the airplane sleepers I felt my own little spotlight would be too disturbing so I settled for reading my Kindle on the airplane.  Tatting is good handwork as the shuttles are small and as I have one pattern tucked away in my brain I can pull a skein of thread out and always work on something....

In my suitcase I had packed a small Ziplock bag with sashiko thread and the gridwork that I had been doing last month...  I had only prepared one more grid though and I wasn't finding the work as easy nor as rewarding as I'd hoped so I was ready to lay that project aside.  I did finish another sashiko pattern on the grid I'd prepared though...  Not great but I guess I can do it.  I didn't bring a millimeter ruler though so I won't be making anymore grids...  I think this pattern is called the Persimmon flower pattern...

In the same book that I'd been using I'd found some Kogin Sashiko patterns and those patterns use counted thread weaves instead of the drawn grids that I'd been doing before.  I decided that Kogin Sashiko might be easier. (HAH!)

Kogin Sashiko is a type of sashiko from the northernmost prefecture of Japan and the patterns are denser than regular Sashiko.  I'd even consulted Mrs. Furui and she'd sent me home with some counted weave scraps and some sashiko thread so I felt I was ready to try my hand at the new craft...

Wow...  This photo is lousy...  It is 10:00 at night and my white balance is completely off on this picture.  The real thread color that I'm using is pink!  Anyway, again, I can DO this small sample of Kogin but the counting of threads is time consuming and hard on the eyes and I don't think I'm willing to make too many more of these either...  The thread sort of blends into the fabric scrap (wish the contrast was as clear as it is in this picture!) and it is a lot of effort for a two inch square...  I have to give this more thought....

I ALSO brought another Ziplock bag full of fabric and applique patterns from a project our group did a few years ago resulting in a large quilt.  Well, the patterns are all there and there was a lot of left over fabric so I had thought I'd make four blocks while I am in the States...  I brought fabric scraps.  I brought the straw needles.  I brought the fine applique thread.  I brought the embroidery thread.  But I forgot that I needed stabilizer for the back of the fabric for the embroidery... and I forgot that I needed diluted school glue and a small paint brush.  All the tools that I have at home at my fingertips and here I have to get Marcy to run me to JoAnne's for piddly things.  I guess I'll just trace patterns onto background fabric this week....

That's what I'm getting done handwork wise this week...
 

Slow...

There is NOTHING going on around here.  Unless Marcy takes me out I just sit in Grandma's casita and read old magazines.  Marcy still gets the weekly TIME magazine for Grandma who has been a fan of the magazine since I was a child, but these days the magazines serve only as a weekly "mail for you" perk up and then they lay unread on her bed-table.  (And no one else in the household seems interested in reading them).  As each magazine is replaced on the bed-table by a new one, the old issue joins a stack on the desk.   My summer reading material...  52 out of date TIME magazines.

YESTERDAY though Marcy and Kiana and I went to M and L's discount fabric store as they were having a 20% off sale. 

"Wait!  I haven't thought about what I need or want yet!  I'm not ready for a sale at M and L's!"

Too bad!  We would miss the sale if we didn't go, so rather unprepared we drove to M and L's and spent an hour or so there.  Kiana is/was gung-ho on buying fabric for a dress so I helped her choose fabrics.  (However I have a feeling that the fun is planning a dress, not MAKING a dress and her purchase has lain forgotten under some of the TIME magazines that have fallen off the desk...  Heaven forbid that I end up trying to sew a dress for her this month.  I have NEVER sewn a piece of clothing that anyone has really wanted to wear!)

I pulled myself together at M and L's enough to remember that I needed material for a border for a quilt I'd just got to a semi-flimsy stage...  (AND I'd brought the measurements).  For same quilt I also needed to buy backing so a lot of a very inexpensive flat fold cut got put in my cart.  I also picked up three batik fabrics for some "someday quilts".

Ah yes.  Once I had arrived in California, Marcy handed me a package of quilt patterns that I had ordered and had sent to the California address (and which I'd forgotten about).  I think the Pine Needles website had been having a sale and I impulsively clicked on the BUY button for a set of patterns I've always admired...  And I also clicked (of course impulsively) on a Christmas pattern that I've wished I had bought the pattern and fabrics for years ago.  The fabrics are no longer available but I grabbed up the pattern just in case I figure out how to make the quilt with my own fabrics...

I found some batik for the Christmas background at M and L's and then I just grabbed a waning bolt of something pretty that I have absolutely no use for and again impulsively said,

"Just give me all of whatever is left on the bolt!"

We will not be going back to M and L's this summer so maybe my fabric purchasing is already over three days into my stay...

Here are the fabrics.  The one at the far back is the backing, the blue somewhat solid is for the border, the three batiks are for the someday quilts, the pretty bolt leftover is on top of those, and finally another batik especially chosen for the Christmas pattern's starry background...

And here are the patterns...  All "Someday Quilts".  So far summer is slow but impulsive!

Grandma care

Grandma is 96 now and is heading for her 97th birthday in December.  She has been bed ridden for what, two years now?  Maybe in her third year.  And about the time she became bedridden she also started getting hospice service...

I had come on an emergency visit in March of 2016 as Grandma seemed to be spiraling and Marcy was losing her mind over caring for her.  After a lot of arguing back and forth (Marcy, my brother and myself) we talked to Grandma's doctor who recommended her for hospice. 

Look at that!  12 pages full of hospice visitation entries!  I see that first hospice visit came on March 25, 2016, and the change in Grandma and EVERYONE'S attitude was immediate.  A hospital bed rolled in so that Grandma could be cranked up into a sitting position to eat instead of trying to eat in a prone position.  Advice about diapers and keeping her clean and the handing over of some ointment that really worked!  Supplies rolled in, nurses came daily and a truly wonderful bath nurse came three times a week who was so upbeat that everyone was cheerful on Carol's scheduled days.  I went home relieved, Marcy felt that she wasn't tackling the world alone (and it helped that hospice arranged for respite days so that the family can take a vacation every three months) and Grandma seemed content to watch the world from her bed.

Now two plus years later Marcy has things under control enough to cut back on nurses' visits, Marcy's brother is helping out and my brother will now accept diaper changing duty if he's asked.  And I'm back to my once a year visit!  And Grandma still seems content to watch the world from her bed.

This is Mark, Marcy's brother who makes Grandma pancakes in the morning, buys an extra chicken sandwich for her when he goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken, makes sure she is tucked in at night and brings her medicine.  He has a wonderful chatty way about himself and asks Grandma all sorts of questions that she doesn't seem to be able to figure out the answers to...  He loves Grandma too.  (He doesn't do diaper duty though.)

Here is my ever-non-smiling brother.  He is a bundle of energy up at early morning to start cooking breakfasts, wash cars, and do garden work.  Or he goes off to work at 3:00 AM to beat the freeway rush hour...  Someone gave him this T-shirt which we all find very appropriate and he seems to like the title...  My brother is not a smiler though...  And he always looks like a grump.  Come to think of it, he IS a grump but a lovable one and Marcy makes up triple time with chattiness and joking.

Marcy won't let me take a picture of her until she is ready with full make-up and hair looking nice so I'll have to catch her later.  She has always been the light that shines in this household and she can still get Grandma to laugh daily with her.

"Grandma!  Look at all the cracker crumbs on your sheets!  Have you been feeding the bed again?"

This was one of the lunches Mark gave Grandma this weekend.  She ate it all too!  (She needs a straw though for the sodas.)

Back to cheery Marcy who exudes cheeriness even during the messiest jobs.

"Pee-yew Grandma!  We are going to all faint from asphyxiation if we don't get you out of those diapers right away!"

Our households, both mine and hers, would fall apart without Marcy.

Grandma gets daily visits from Koa the dog,

And Simba the kitty...  Grandma's life is pretty good!