Visiting the shut-in

Grandma had some visitors the other day and she was so happy to see them all. 

The four ladies had taught school together for many years and all of them are retired now and enjoying their lives taking care of grandchildren and sponsoring Bible studies etc.  One friend (with her walker) has her care giver bring her over about once a month, the two others had always invited Grandma out to lunch monthly until about four years ago.  But actually it was the first time for all four of them to get together under one roof since the last two teachers retirement.  I think there must be about 15 years between Grandma and the youngest.

Grandma's first comment to her former team teacher friend was,

"Look at you!  Your hair is all white now!"

I'm sure they could have had a few comments themselves...  "...look at you.  You're not up and joining us for lunch anymore!"

Tetsu buzzed around and took 20 or 30 photos but as I wasn't sure if they wanted to be on my blog or not I've blurred them out a bit...  I'm not even sure if they would have understood about blogging. 

 Tetsu loves this photo of the walker user friend's hand holding my mother's.

"Look at how spiffy she keeps herself!  At her age!  Black wig, painted on eyebrows and glittery fingernail polish!"

Another friend was all dressed up with matching Micky Mouse earrings and shirt.  These people have a lot of fun even with all their walkers and canes.

Grandchildren's photos were passed around, news of old friends was exchanged.

"How's so-and-so?"

"Oh, he died."

"Oh."
Nevertheless, there was much gaiety and promises to come again.  How much Grandma remembers of the visit a day or so later I don't know but I certainly appreciate her friends going out of their way to come and spread a little happiness. 

And Grandma certainly looks happy!

The first few days of Tetsu's visit

Well, we have had good and bad since Tetsu arrived in California.  The bad is minor but annoying. 

Tetsu arrived at LAX on Tuesday and though Marcy and I were waiting at the wrong terminal, we finally met up with him and brought him home.

Grandma was overjoyed to see him (and me...  She thought I'd just flown in also.  "Grandma I'VE been here two weeks already.") and she has been smiling ever since.

We tried to keep Tetsu awake for most of the evening by dragging him to Sam's Club and reintroducing him to Koa the German Shepherd.

Hopefully this trip to California will be a relaxing one for Tetsu.

HOWEVER...

Since Sunday I've been having a toothache.  Rats!  This is something I DON'T want to have while in the States.  Even though I always take out travel insurance, I've been able to not use it all these years which suits me fine as there is so much paper work involved and besides, Japanese medical costs are so much less costly.  Unfortunately, a toothache becomes hard to ignore and I finally broke down and asked Marcy to call her dentist on Wednesday morning.  In the meantime, Tetsu read the fine print of the travel insurance and realized that it doesn't cover dental procedures.  Well, that's a bummer!  But what has to be done has to be done and with a lot of calling around and Tetsu talking to Japanese insurance people we were advised to download some forms and MAYBE we will be reimbursed once back in Japan.

In the afternoon I went to the dentist and got a diagnosis, some antibiotics and a lot of advice.  Tetsu was much impressed with the dentist.  Not so much about technology, as Japan's is pretty good, but about the patient treatment ("Here, enjoy a bottle of water while you wait!  All of you!"  "Me too?" says Tetsu.") and the friendly way that the dentist talked with his ankles crossed, and all the time taken telling me the pros and cons of future procedures I might consider back in Japan.

Well, fine.  Problem temporarily solved.

Yesterday, Tetsu and I had breakfast out, a past time we enjoy even in Japan, and then spent the day perusing second-hand shops.  Tetsu loves shopping in second-hand shops in Japan AND America.

But I had a stiff neck probably from sleeping with my head on Tetsu's shoulder for the first time in two weeks.  Okay... Antibiotics AND aspirin.

And this morning...  I'm eating my granola and a crown on a DIFFERENT TOOTH fell out!!!!!  I am falling apart!!!!  At least let me fall apart at home and not when I'm a wayfaring traveler!!!  Another call to the dentist and I guess I'll just go get some tooth cement and put the crown back on myself...  And hope everything holds another two weeks.

This is NOT how I planned to spend my California time...

Take the good with the bad.

Moon veiwing

Last night and the night before, the moon was supposed to be the closest to the earth in 70 years.  I got a message from Leiya asking if I'd photographed the moon and so equipped with my brother's tripod I went out around 6:00 pm moon hunting.  I scouted out a few places where I might see the moon when it was still light to hopefully envelope in the leafy trees but alas no moon.  I kept checking out my look out point and finally spent a good hour watching the moon rise over the hilltop. 

UNFORTUNATELY, I have no idea how to photograph the moon and with only some bare Internet information I set up the tripod and took numerous photos...  One suggestion had been to photograph the moon with something nearby, a skyline or a treetop so as to give some proportion to the photo but I'm sorry to say that none of the "leafy envelope" photos turned out very well.  The moon came out too bright and I don't know what the green reflection is...

Back to regular camera settings and the surrounding leaves disappeared in blackness.  Obviously I have no idea what I am doing photograph-wise...  I sure could use an on-hands photography class...

So... my moon pictures look like a glowing disk in the sky...  and the photos of moon detail, well, last night's moon looks just the same as a moon from a year ago or from 10 million years ago.  The only slight satisfaction was learning how to use a tripod.

Marcy and I are off in a few hours to collect Tetsu from LAX.  Tetsu will be happy to have some warm California weather for the next couple of weeks!  I've given him instructions on how to make warm spaces for the cats while we are gone (heated mats 24 hours a day) and Choco will have to make due with blankets in her dog house and nights in our neighbor's front rooms.  Choco loves her home stay experiences with these wonderful neighbors and the cats will enjoy the morning and evening attentions of some other good neighbors.

Veterans' Day

I'm afraid I wasn't even aware that Friday was Veterans' Day until Marcy pointed out my old jr. high school's field filled with American flags.  She suggested I should make a stop later on during the week and read some of the stories of the servicemen being honored.  I stopped by one night and took photos through the fence and then went back yesterday to walk among the flags themselves.

The Field of Valor is sponsored by the Covina Rotary Club and I was told there are 2001 flags set up in the school field for one week with ceremonies and speakers and school bands.

People pay to sponsor a flag and are entitled to pick up the flag and the serviceman's information tag at the end of the week.  There was also a Boy Scout Flag Retirement ceremony on one day and a place to donate for care packages throughout the week.

It sounds like there are many Fields of Valor throughout the nation and the servicemen in the community field who are honored were from past wars and present, some home now, some recognized as heroes with the Medal of Honor.  There were many veterans sitting in tents willing to talk to the visitors or give directions to specifically flagged tags and boy scouts and clusters of families were proudly standing by flags that I supposed had family members names on them.

Heritage of Old Glory

On June 14, 1777, the Continental Congress passed the first Flag Act:

"Resolved, That the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, while on a blue field, representing a new Constellation."

Between the appearance of that first 13-stripe flag and today, Congress has passed several acts that changed the design of Old Glory, including the custom of adding a new star as each new state was admitted to the Union.

Today, the flag boasts thirteen horizontal stripes, seen red, alternating with six white.  The stripes represent the original 13 colonies, and the stars represent the 50 states of the Union.

It was very moving to walk among the beautiful flags as they rippled gently.  It was a nice way to honor the community's and the nation's servicemen.

Knitting needles

Yesterday I went over to JoAnne's to buy myself some new knitting needles.  I ended up wandering the aisles for two hours though I didn't make all that many purchases.  Some plain calico, some buttons, some beads to take home as a present and knitting needles.

When I left Japan I had chosen bamboo knitting needles from my over packed drawers (a lot of my friends have given me their old knitting needles or passed on to me their mother's and mother-in-law's knitting needles) and I had thought I could get the bamboo knitting needles onto the airplane.  In the end I packed them away but here I am with my Japanese bamboo knitting needles, a pack of 5 double pointed ones still in their pack.

Clover brand, size 4, Takumi...price, about $10.  (the price tag was still on the back... I don't know how old these knitting needles are though.)

As an aside, the Takumi name is the same as my son's but actually the Chinese character is different so it isn't really the same name.  Takumi 巧,　my son's character means "craftsman"...  which is actually a personal reference to the craft of Jesus.  (Tetsu chose the name.)  Takumi 匠, on the knitting needle package means "artisan" which is pretty nice too...  I wonder why Tetsu didn't choose that character.

Anyway, looking at knitting needle packaging in JoAnne's I was surprised to find the Clover brand Takumi!  Wow!  I didn't realize how far reaching Clover had become (founded in 1925 by a young Japanese man who used clovers to bookmark his books).  I found my size 4 knitting needles at a minimum price but my hand reached out for Clover's interchangeable circular knitting needles.  I've never seen any like the interchangeable needles and I have a whole rack of different size circular needles at home in my sewing room!  Of course, as I've mentioned, all of my needles are hand-me-downs, so they may be quite popular in Japan and I just don't know about them.

Interchangeable needles were more expensive than the straight ones but about equivalent to the package that I was carrying around so I decided that I'd splurge and buy myself some.  And with Marcy's coupons they weren't even that much! 

I came home with two sets of Takumi Interchangeable Circular Knitting Needles (4.0 mm and 5.0 mm) and the interchangeable cord.  I am ready to start the front of the vest I've been knitting and I will keep my needles safe from Koa the dog!  I consider Clover's Takumi knitting needles a nice connection between Japan and America!

More knitting

With one knitted vest under my belt I've started on another one.  This one is probably for myself.

Marcy brought over a bag of yarn that she said her mother had once purchased though she didn't know what her mother had been planning to make.  Probably a baby blanket though Marcy couldn't think of any babies that might have been born around the time.  The skeins are labeled Baby Coordinates so that probably was the purpose and the yarn is basically acrylic in a pale yellow color...  Not really suitable for Tetsu (thus I am not going to try and make him a larger version of the vest that already got made).  I pulled up a pattern from Ravelry the knitting website and started in.

What I've done so far is probably too BIG though it is supposed to be a long collared vest.  I definitely am a hit or miss knitter...  Either too big or too little! 

My progress was slowed yesterday by walking into the living room where I'd left Koa the dog and finding pieces of wooden sticks on the floor. 

"What is this?"

Oh dear...  Koa had found one of the bamboo knitting needles and crunched it to small pieces.  I had been warned that he chewed shoes but I hardly thought he would take an interest in knitting needles.  WRONG!  One of my first errands today is going to be to JoAnns or Hobby Lobby to buy new knitting needles...  and maybe some buttons for this vest-to-be.

 Keeping my hands busy though I can't say that the rest of me has too much to do.

I voted

Okay... I'm not going to get into the election results.  It has been very interesting being in the States during this time and hearing the heated opinions as the voting date drew closer.  I tried to gain comfort and hope from Biblical passages and assurances of God's authority...  I have listened politely to different sides and not said too much about my own opinions.  I enjoyed lunch with old friends yesterday who were in election mode with their coordinated outfits of red, white and blue (including large stars and striped star earrings) and their "I voted" stickers.  I actually had my own "I voted" sticker that I had forgotten to apply to my apparel yesterday morning, deciding instead to preserve it in my computer passwords notebook.  I was most interested in the different languages that were represented on the sticker (including Japanese) and wondered how the languages were chosen... I did not stay glued to the TV last night and concluded that I might suffer from the same heart palpitations that Marcy was complaining about while watching the projected election results.  I was informed early this morning of the results by the Certified Nurse's Assistant who came to put Grandma in the shower. 

I'm rather glad I'm not sitting in the living room with Tetsu who would want me to explain the whole reasoning behind America's candidate choices and what the election's outcome will be on the world (as if I have any idea of world politics and economics.)  The whole exhausting business which I do not claim to understand, is now hopefully decided and regular ridiculous TV scheduling will go back to "normal" with commentators returning to their insights about celebrity divorces...

Some things NEVER change.
 

Knitting

Sunday was the first time I've been out with the car since I arrived in the States.  It usually takes me a day or two to feel confident enough start driving...  Because of jet lag dragginess...  because of the mind change from driving on the left hand side of the road to the right hand side of the road...  Because a couple of visits back I was out in Marcy's car and backed into a brand-new BMW.  That incident has resulted in definite trauma and lack of confidence!  And also, my brother's car that I have driven over the years has been replaced and a newer unfamiliar car is now at my temporary disposal.  I was a bit leery about my first outing.

So here I've been for 10 days not driving, not going out unless invited on trips to Costco, not DOING much of anything day in and day out.  When my psych is bad I think of the confinement as a type of prison, when my psych is good I think of being house bound as an excellent opportunity to practice the Biblical advice of "being content in all things".

I had considered ahead of time that I would be spending my California hours at my mother's bedside and I had brought yarn and knitting needles and a pattern to work on Tetsu's Christmas vest.  The huge block of time I have used efficiently and as of yesterday I have a finished vest for Tetsu.

HOWEVER...  the change of knitting atmosphere caused a few unforeseen problems.  One, the Japanese pattern was written with centimeters in mind and I did not prepare enough to bring along a centimeter ruler.  I was checking out conversions charts on the Internet when I discovered a plastic dollar store ruler with centimeter increments in Grandma's desk drawer.  Problem one solved.

I started knitting but as the vest progressed I began to question about my choice of yarn colors.  If I had been in Japan I probably would have gone back to the yarn store and chosen a different accent color.  What I had thought was going to be a beautiful blue accent turns out to be an eye-catching blue patch and Tetsu is not much for anything eye-catching..  especially in attire.  Another yarn from my stash I thought was going to have a multi-colored purple hue but when knit there were large portions of beige-white.  This again has made the vest more eye-catching than the desired imagined effect...  Tetsu will have to live with these problems or give the vest back to ME who does not mind eye-catching.

And a third problem seems to be that I may have not got the size right.  I did compensate for Tetsu being a somewhat larger than normal Japanese man...  by increasing the stitches across, by adding rows to the length... But if I had been in Japan I would have pulled one of Tetsu's old vests out of the closet and adjusted the size as I went along.  This time I had to guess.

I finished up the whole vest, sewed on buttons, was extremely pleased with my handy work and put it on to model for Marcy.

"It's gorgeous Tani!  How did you do that?"

"It fits YOU but is it going to fit Tetsu?"

Ah...  My brother had hit the nail on the head.  My eye-catching vest makes a very nice longish vest for me... but for Tetsu?

I asked my brother to put it on...  I'm not even sure if the two men are roughly the same in size though from applying the hug test I'd say I get more hug volume from my brother than I do from Tetsu.  Marcy burst out laughing when she saw my brother squeezed into the vest.  Definitely too small for my brother!

I may have made a vest for myself this year...

And thanks to Marcy, I have a new supply of yarn from her mother's stash.  My days beside my mother's bed will be filled with more knitting projects.  (And I am out with the car again today!)

The progress of dementia

Yesterday, while eating Arby sandwiches, Marcy and my brother and I were having a quick discussion about when we first noticed my mother's dementia.  My brother said he thought it began when she forgot whether she had eaten a meal or not. 

"Nooo!!  That's been recent!"

"When she drove home and forgot to turn off the car?"

I said that in hindsight, when Grandma would get so annoyed at having to choose from a menu, that that should have been some indication that things weren't quite right.  And then she started wearing the same three outfits over and over despite her full closet of clothes.  I think decision making issues had started about that time...

Marcy and I both remembered the uncharacteristic clutching to her monetary assets when we both criticized her for writing checks left and right to unsubstantiated "charity" groups who would COME TO THE HOUSE WEEKLY TO PICK UP THE CHECKS!  There was a definite collapse of her reasoning system at the check writing and then her lashing out at us with "That's MY money!  I can do what I like!" was completely out of character.

Yesterday at church I greeted people who knew Grandma from her active church days and they all asked about her.

"She's hanging in there...  Not great.  Not moving around.  She's cheerful."

"Grace (my mother) was always cheerful.  Isn't that nice that that has remained."

This visit I notice the sounds that Grandma makes.  She moans and grunts most of the night but I have determined that she isn't uncomfortable and am willing myself to ignore it and try to sleep through it myself.  In the daytime, when she is awake, she starts her normal loops of conversation, commenting on whatever blouse, sweater, shirt that anyone is wearing when they walk into her room. 

"What a pretty blouse (sweater, shirt) you're wearing.  Did you get that here?"

I can walk out of Grandma's line of vision to pick up a wash cloth or something and when I step back into her sight she comments again about the same blouse (sweater, shirt).  For the past 10 years or so, with doctors or men she will comment on their shirts or ties.  On one of her last visits to her doctor when she just sat blankly and said nothing about his tie, he sympathetically smiled at her and asked her himself if she didn't like his tie...  It was such a common refrain from his patient of some 25 years and he seemed sad that she didn't have the energy to even notice. 

I've been wearing things out of Grandma's closet myself and yet she still says,

"What a pretty blouse you're wearing.  Did you get that here?"

"It's yours Grandma."

"It is?  Then you can keep it because I don't need it anymore."

Other sounds...

Whenever Marcy or I change Grandma's diapers she goes into a musical crescendo of sounds up and down the scales.

"E-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!  Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!  Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

Not a real laugh though it sometimes dissolves into laughter, especially when I mimic her.

"Grandma, what does that mean?  What are you saying?  Why do you make that noise?  What does all the noise mean?"

She smiles in mirth as if she has played a big joke on us.

"I think you just like to hear yourself, right Grandma?"

"Does it MEAN anything, Grandma?"

"It means... it means...  I'm happy?  It means I'm happy."

I love this answer and actually make her say it to me whenever I'm changing the diapers. 

"Well, I'm glad YOU'RE happy because I'm NOT happy about cleaning up your diapers!"

But I say it lovingly and I don't really mind the messy diaper changing with all the background noise Grandma makes.

As dementia goes, Marcy and I are rather relieved at the course my mother's is taking so far.

 (Me wearing Grandma's blouse and she with my scarf wrapped around her)

She is happy and that knowledge makes my throat tighten.

I SPY

We brought Grandma out to the living room again yesterday.  I brought out a colorful quilt and Grandma enjoyed  some warm sunlight on her face. 

I had made this colorful I SPY quilt for my mother in 2010 and even then I had realized that she was growing less aware of her surroundings but might like something pretty and cheerful to brighten her ever decreasing circle of home. 

The pattern is from Mary's website called the Happy Block Pattern and the kitty fabrics were sent to me by my blog friend, June.  Once I had sewn the quilt up I put a label on the back asking the user to look for certain cats...  A Halloween cat, an angel cat etc.  Nowadays Grandma looks at the colors and happily points out the many different kitties but needs some help "finding" the I SPY cats.  When this quilt is out the common "loop" goes...
"What a pretty quilt.  Did you make this, Tani?  Where did you get all the kitty fabrics?  Isn't this a cute kitty!?  What a pretty quilt.  Did you make this, Tani?...."

I am so glad that I made this quilt for my mother.  More than the fancy ones and color coordinated quilts that I have made for her, she seems to enjoy this one the most... when she remembers it.  And when it crosses her vision again she again comments on the colors.

"What a pretty quilt.  Did you make this, Tani?..."

At least she remembers that I am a quilter.

Three cats but only one that poses...

My brother's family has two dogs, a cockatoo and three cats.  Yes!  Three!  When I was here in March there were only two but Marcy says she fears that she is becoming another Tanya-cat-lady and she has recently acquired a kitten.  From a neighbor.  Actually the neighbor's cat had kittens and one of the kittens had hidden under my brother's house.  After many attempts the kitten was caught and slowly the family has been trying to get it used to people...  The neighbor actually asked for the kitten back but Marcy didn't like the way their cats roam the neighborhood... until they disappear because of coyotes, and persuaded the owners to let her keep the small scared feline.  So far it has only gotten used to my brother and Marcy.  I haven't seen the kitten yet.

Marcy has another cat, a beautiful white one and I haven't seen THAT cat yet either.  Maxi, the white cat has always been a scaredy cat and in the many years that she has lived in this house I've only caught glimpses of it.  So now Marcy has TWO scaredy cats.

On the other hand we have the extremely sociable Simba, the ginger cat and he loves people and cats and dogs alike.  Simba visits Grandma and sits by the window being very photogenic.  Sorry.  You are probably going to see a lot of photos of Simba. 

I love his pink ears shining in the sunlight!

Marcy wasn't always a cat lover.  When I first met her she told me she was allergic to cats and though Grandma had a couple of cats Marcy was always sneezing and rubbing her eyes.  I guess she's built up an immunity because she is in danger of being as big a cat fan as I am!

I miss my kitties!

Lazy days of California

Let's see...  What HAVE I been doing?

Marcy and I took a trip out to M and L's yesterday.  I went purposefully to buy backing for the Scrappy Irish Chain flimsy that is waiting for me back home.  I needed 6 yards of backing fabric (I had Mrs. Furui calculate it for me) and I found something suitable in the flat folds section of M and L's for $2.98 a yard.  Yeah!  Not flashy, that's for sure.  The backing is the whitish fabric.

I also ordered some two color applique kits online for my two quilting students and those come with fabric but instead of ordering a kit for myself I'm planning to use one of the instructions and supply my own fabric.  Thus I bought different combinations of batiks at M and L's also .  Maybe the purple and light purple would make a pretty combination.... Or the pink and dark brown, or even the yellow and dark brown.  See!  I now have enough fabric to make THREE more applique kit quilts!

So those were my M and L's purchases...

At home I wrestled with the mail-in voting process and really don't know if I got it right or not but at least I tried.  I have a feeling that Marcy and I are at opposite ends of candidate backing and so we both steer clear of any political talk (though Marcy finds that harder to do than I do) but I DID want to at least try to get my word in.  I sent in the ballot yesterday (as did Marcy and Grandma...  I didn't sway Grandma though I wanted to...)  At least that's done and we can only wait and see...

I take morning walks but again my family rolls their eyes at me saying that that could be dangerous for my health as you never know what nuts might be out there.  I really feel that all I do is sit on my derriere and not get any exercise unless I walk an hour in the morning...  Is it safer up in the hilly residential area where I see no one or on the main street with cars whizzing by and careening through the stoplights?

In the afternoons I've been taking Koa, the German Shepherd out with me on a mini walk.  I don't want to get too far away from the neighborhood and we do end up meeting squirrels and horses and other dogs.  Koa could drag me off in a flash if he wanted to but he is better behaved than Choco is (and I've built up muscles handling Choco!) and we both enjoy our walks.  Koa so much so that he has now become my best friend and bypasses my brother (the former best friend) and Kiana who is officially his owner.  The walker gets the devotion!

Today a trip to the second hand shop is scheduled as I brought only TWO shirts with me on this trip and have already started raiding Grandma's closet!

Grandma's up!

Carol, Grandma's Certified Nurse's Assistant, has just been here and Grandma has showered and been put back to bed.  Carol is Marcy and Grandma's favorite CNA and Marcy specifically asks for Carol's schedule to be changed when she doesn't appear every few days.  Like Marcy, Carol brings cheer and happiness to the room and I can see how she is a favorite among her patients.

Yep, Carol got Grandma out of the bed and into the shower this morning!  And while she was at it I asked if we could set Grandma in the living room for a minute or two while the shower water warmed up and Carol was changing sheets on the bed.

It took the two of us but we toddled Grandma into the living room and sat her on the sofa armrest.  One of the "loops" that Grandma gets into is asking where I am sleeping at night.  Well, my brother bought an inflatable queen sized bed and I am set up quite nicely now in the living room.  Whereas I didn't mind sleeping on the sofa as in past years, with Tetsu flying in in two weeks Marcy thought we'd be more comfortable on a bed rather than doled out to separate sofas in the main house.  Voila!  A combination bedroom/living room area!  Grandma was quite impressed!

It was nice to see Grandma in a sitting position though she doesn't stay upright for long.  When I started taking pictures, Carol brushed down Grandma's hair for her so that she looked pretty and doesn't she though!

Grandma's bright red pajamas give some color to her face!

We took a selfie on my iPhone.

"Do we look alike?" asks Grandma.

"Yes!  Definitely!" chortles Marcy.

I can see it in the wrinkles around our eyes.  Although that may just be the common characteristic of our mutual aging...

It's so nice to have a photo of Grandma smiling, pretty and sitting up!