Cemetery

In the mornings, recently Choco and I have been making a peaceful stop at the cemetery across the street. It is a privately owned cemetery, not affiliated with a temple or church, and it is very well kept. There are little gazebos with stone tables and chairs. There is a water place for filling buckets and washing utensils and here and there around the grounds are these cute little stone animals. The cemetery itself is surrounded by forest and not many sounds of the everyday world come through.

This morning Choco and I made our appearance at a little after 6:30 and we enjoyed the tweeting birds and the patter of a drizzly rain. Not long after we got there a little grandma (obaachan) showed up on her bicycle and she proceeded to attend to her family grave as is the custom. Her bicycle basket was loaded with small colorful chrysanthemums and it looked like she had a couple soft drink cans.

As I watched from a distance the obaachan parked her bicycle and started taking out the metal cups and trays that are built into the stone for the purpose of holding flowers and incense. The obaachan washed her cups and trays and then cut her flowers to the appropriate length and carried them back to the grave along with a cemetery bucket and ladle. Once at the grave again she started splashing water all over the gravestone and then arranged her flowers and the drink cans. Finally with a rag she lovingly polished the crevices and carved places in the gravestone. Choco and I left about then but most likely the obaachan put the bucket and rag back at the washing station, lit some incense and spent a short time in prayer. I wouldn't be surprised if this was at least a weekly routine for her.

To Japanese, the visiting and caring of the grave is very important. Cremation is the norm in Japan so many generations of ancestors' ashes may rest there and it is the duty of the living to care for the ancestors just as it is the duty of the ancestors to watch over and protect the decendents. There are certain days set apart in the year when everyone visits family graves, and there are individual dates relating to memorial services for the deceased that continue for decades. A proper Japanese will visit the gravesite regularly and bring flowers, sweets, drinks and incense.

Tomorrow I will be spending a couple of days in the city where I first lived when I came to Japan and where Tetsu and I were married. It is also the town where we have our own grave (our first daughter's ashes are there) but I doubt that I will have a chance to visit the cemetery. I find my own feelings very interesting. As an American (or maybe my upbringing) whether or not I visit the cemetery isn't very important. My loved one is in my heart, but as a pseudo-Japanese it disturbs me that we haven't been to the grave or even the city, in the past 3 years. And here I will be traveling quite a distance to the city but I won't have access to a car and anyway I'd rather spend the time there laughing and chatting with old friends. So I'm not planning on doing any grave visiting.

Anyway, I'll be away for a couple of days but hope to take lots of picture of beautiful Northern Japan while I'm gone. See you in a couple of days!