Day 27 - Dodekula

I guess I'm ready to pack away the sewing machine.  This month I got Colin's Majestic Mountains quilt flimsy finished and then started up a quilt challenge that I've been wanting to make.  Ula Lenz's Dodekula.  

I have used Ula's paper piecing patterns years ago and I will occasionally visit her website to see what she has new.  I discovered her Dodekula quilt and immediately thought that it would be something I'd like to make for Takumi (being mathematically inclined).  But the number of fabrics involved, preferably solids, was just too hard to think about in Japanese fabric stores.  But at M and L's Discount Fabrics?  YES!  Their range of fabrics is wonderful!  This is the place to buy specific fabrics!

With pattern printed out and in hand, Marcy and I went to M and L's again and she helped me choose fabrics (blue, green, a BLENDING of blue-green etc.) and once Colin's quilt flimsy was finished I started paper piecing.  This was going to be a surprise for Takumi but he saw some of the paper pieces when he was here on Saturday so I showed him what I was making.  He couldn't quite understand what paper piecing is all about (not many non-quilters comprehend the idea... sometimes I'm not sure I understand what I'm doing either) but he was interested.

Simba helped me arrange the pieces one day... and Koa stepped on another set with his big muddy paws.  There will always be a reminder of Koa at one corner of the black...  I don't think this is going to be a great washable quilt.

Yesterday I got all my pieces sewn together and then put on the borders.  Black, rainbow and black again.  Yeah!  Another flimsy finished and ready to take back with me to Japan.  All these flimsies will get quilted on my machine at home and I have no idea HOW I'm going to quilt this one so that is still looks three dimensional.  Any ideas?

Day 26 - The Last Bookstore

The week has passed so quickly and I never did relate our visit to a famous book store in downtown LA last weekend after our trip to the tea house.  It seems most people in the LA area get to the LAST BOOKSTORE at least once and Takumi and Julieta directed us there and we all spent an hour or so exploring.

Exploring it was, because there were nooks and crannies and interesting objects and a couple of art galleries and even a yarn shop.  The books were both old/used books and news books.  (And this is where I splurged and bought the Being Mortal book).  There was a whole section of LP records and in the center of the high ceilinged room a concert stage was being set up.

At the entry to the book store was a very interesting three dimensional mural on the far wall made of... books.  It looked like the colorful covers were draped opened on slats and coverless books were draped so that the white pages showed. 

 In one of the stairwells a flock of books taking off for other places.

And here we have words and pages unrolling from an old typewriter.

Most of the plants seemed to be planted in old radios, clocks and gutted appliances.

 

 An interesting porthole of books at one bookshelf.

 And a tunnel of books somewhere else.

 Takumi and Julieta.

An interesting tunnel and some of the books seemed to be movable though I hope surely not all...  Pull out the wrong book and the whole thing would come tumbling down!

 When we came to this room I finally realized that this was once a bank.

 Really, one could get lost in here for the whole day.

 Let's see...  Where might I find that book...  It has to be in here SOMEWHERE!

Day 25 - Elder care

We are going to make ANOTHER attempt to get Leiya to Ohio this morning.  Mr. Obama is no longer in town so maybe Leiya will catch her flight.

I heard from Tetsu last night and he is holding the fort fairly well.  I think my ailing elderly kitty is not eating again but Tetsu won't go into details to keep me from more worries.  Our good friends the Yamadas and the Sugas are inviting Tetsu to their homes occasionally for company and dinners.  Thank you Marlene and Keiko!  I have some stuff I want you to read Kohei and Toshi!  I gather that my mother's care is being discussed in the evenings and comparisons are being made between Japanese and American elder care. The Sugas are in a similar situation with their elder parents living in California too so they have researched the possibilities in depth.  And Kohei has taken an interest in developing elder care in Japan, and you know where Tetsu stands.  We should all have some good discussions when I get back!

While I have been in California I have gathered my reading material and enjoyed long hours in Grandma's casita reading what I like.  I finished her year of Time magazines and her old copies of Reader's Digest.  I have downloaded numerous books on my Kindle, three of which have been books by Lisa Genova who is a neuroscientist and author.  Her novels have been about dementia (she wrote Still Alice which became a movie) and Huntington's Disease and other neural disorders.  Somewhat depressing but also inspiring.

I stumbled upon a book called Being Mortal by Atul Gawande about elder care.  I first tried borrowing it from the library onto my Kindle (that is the absolute best service!  All these downloadable books to BORROW!  Next I want to try audio books.)  Sadly Being Mortal was already checked out so I went to the local library and borrowed it in book form.  And read it in one sitting, and was so taken by the truth of it all.  This is the book I want Kohei to read and I'll try to give the English gist to Tetsu. 

So I BOUGHT the book and began rereading and scribbling in the margins.  And then Leiya asked me to read it aloud to her so we have been taking turns reading the book to each other and Kiana even got into the act.  I love that my daughter is so interested in the theory of elder care and it isn't a particularly cheery book.

Other news from Tetsu was that he has been to see his mother and showed her pictures of Leiya cutting Grandma's hair and Takumi sitting beside her.  Tetsu's mother is envious of the physical love my children give to my mother and though they think of their Japanese grandma they don't get back to spend time with her.

My mother and Tetsu's mother are close in age and have met one another two or three times (when my mother was still visiting Japan).  They must have a subconscious rivalry going on because both my mother and Tetsu's mother ask about each other in curious tones.

"How's Tetsu's mother?  Does she live alone?  Does she have care helpers coming in?  What does she do all day?"

My mother asks the same questions every couple of days.

When I tell her that Tetsu's mother still cooks her own food but does have people to come in to clean, I sense a bit of competition... like maybe my mother with her frailties is sad that on these terms Tetsu's mother has come out on top.

But the same is true of Tetsu's mother when she asks about mine.

"Does your mother have her family with her all the time?  Does she still have all her teeth?  What does she do all day?"

I may have a mean streak in me because I'd tell Tetsu's mother that mine liked to go out with us for dinner (that was last year) and I tell my mother that Tetsu's mother likes watching TV.  I was sort of hoping to spur each to try a bit harder...

But this year I play down Tetsu's mother's abilities to Grandma and I probably will gave an accurate picture of my mother in Hopsice care to Tetsu's mother.  Will they see their own blessings?

Before we head for the airport Takumi is writing his Japanese Grandma a letter for me to take back along with one from Leiya.

And Leiya made both grandma's friendship bracelets this morning.
 

Day 24 - Sorting

One of my chores while I have been in California has been tidying up Grandma's casita.

Grandma has always been a saver of papers and clothing and old letters.  A few years ago Marcy and I threw away boxes and boxes of old school papers (Grandma had been an elementary school teacher for 24 years.)  One year I organized her old photo albums.  This year I have been going through her drawers.

What are we keeping and what are we throwing away?  There is very little really that needs to be kept.  Grandma doesn't see me going through her things, sorting them into piles of Keep, Give Away, Throw Away.  She hardly cares anyway but she does catch onto a few conversations.

"I'm going to call somebody to take Grandma's old bed away."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Well, Grandma.  You have this nice mechanical bed now.  Isn't it nice?  You don't need the old, hard, flat bed any more."

And Grandma agrees that this new bed is very nice and wonders how much it cost, and when she learns it is rented, she wonders why insurance will pay for such a nice bed.  No one mentions that there will never be a need for her old bed again... 

Same with some of the clothing I weed from her closet.  She won't need her shorts or her winter coats or her dress up Sunday dresses.  I pull out some of the stuff and surreptitiously slip the things into garbage bags that will go to the second hand shop.

"I could just strip the whole closet.  She will never use any of this again...  But it seems too sad to take away everything even though she doesn't notice.  Let's wait."

On another day Marcy and Kiana and Leiya and I were going though Grandma's jewelry box.  Nothing really valuable.  Her engagement ring, a pearl necklace, costume jewelry beads and fancy broaches.

Marcy tells me to take what I want and as Grandma's daughter I should have first choice.

I will take home the pearls.  Leiya and Kiana claimed some beads and chains.  We set aside the engagement ring that will someday be passed on to Leiya. 

Some of the jewelry I recognized from decades ago.

"That might have been from her honeymoon in Mexico.  Grandma, do you remember where you got this?"

She doesn't.  We prompt her.

"Was this broach yours or was it Bachan's (MY grandmother.)"

"I don't know...  Take it."

All of the earrings are screw on type but I have pierced ears...  Still, some are pretty and I have memories of Grandma wearing them so I have packed up quite a few sets of old earrings to take back with me to Japan.

The broaches too... I never wear pins but I must admit these are beautiful and they could be my grandmother's so they will come back to Japan also.

It does seem sad to be doling out Grandma's belongings while she sleeps peacefully in the next room but thinking practically, I may not be in California again for a year and Marcy doesn't want to make the decisions herself.

It is part of the process.

Day 23 - Jammed

I have other news to catch up on but we had an "experience" last night.

Leiya was scheduled to leave LAX at 10:25 last night.  She packed up her bags, said her good-byes to everyone.  Marcy and Kiana and I sadly loaded her into the car and took off for LAX at 8:00.  The drive to LAX takes 45 minutes.  It USUALLY takes 45 minutes!

Speedy sailing all the way to the final off ramp for LAX when the traffic STOPPED!  Deja vu as some 15 years ago when taking Tetsu to the airport an overturned truck blocked the whole off ramp.  What a nightmare with people walking down the middle of the highway carrying luggage and pillows and stuffed animals all in a mad rush to catch planes.

Last night was in some ways worse.  There was no way to get out and walk this time but it wasn't possible to get off the highway and take a different route.  The normally last 5 minutes of the drive to the airport took over an hour and a half!  And.... guess what....  Leiya missed her flight.

Marcy and I were fuming and ranting and couldn't believe all the cars trying to merge from different ramps.  Leiya made the effort when we finally got to the drop off place 20 minutes ahead of take off, but of course getting though TSA (Transportation Security Administration) was a long process too and she missed the flight by 5 minutes.  By that time we had already gotten out of the airport (we HAD to, there was no way to turn in to any parking) and we waited it out at a coffee shop until Leiya got things sorted out about whether there was another flight or if she was going to need to find some place to stay again.

30 minutes later Leiya had given up on getting a flight out and so Marcy and Kiana and I turned around and went back to the airport...  THIS TIME BREEZING THROUGH THE AIRPORT and picking Leiya up within minutes of her call.  Go figure!!!

"What on earth was going on tonight?  I have NEVER seen the airport that crowded."

So Leiya has been stressed out trying to get another flight out.  She's also had to contact her boss (at 4:00 am California time) and apologize and talk with her co-workers to get her work load sorted out between them and try to meet work deadlines by cell phone.

"I know it's not the airline's fault (they weren't very nice to her about not having more foresight.) but it's not your fault either.  We tried to get you to the airport nearly 2 hours ahead of time.  It wasn't a freeway accident but it WAS unavoidable.  Let's just make the best of it."

The good news (for me) is that Leiya will be around now until Sunday morning (no sense hurrying home tonight when she's already missed her Frantic Friday at work).

And I open up the news on my computer this morning and find THIS headline:

OBAMAJAM WARNING:  PRESIDENT IS BACK IN L.A. FOR FUNDRAISERS

So THAT'S why LAX was jammed last night.  When the President is in town the streets are congested.   Too bad I hadn't read the news the day before.

"Hi Grandma.  I'm back!"

"Where did you go?"
 

Day 22 - Not to be

A couple of days after I arrived in California I went to Target and bought the cheapest cell phone they had ($15) and a one month SIM card.  This was prompted because of a traumatic experience I caused on the last day I was in California last summer.  It was so traumatic that I never even posted about it!

If you remember... My brother's family took off for a vacation the day before I returned to Japan.  I was alone with Grandma and my bags were packed.  As the absolute last chore for the summer I took off for Target to buy Grandma some supplies, taking only my wallet... No camera.

I bought what I needed, backed my car (Marcy's car) out of the parking space... and thumped into another car.  Not a big thump.  Barely a stopping of the car as I was slowly backing out, but nevertheless, I bumped into a car.  A brand-new BMW not out of the dealer's 15 minutes.  The lady was furious and I learned new language.  I hung my head over the steering wheel as she ranted and waved her arms and announced my stupidity to anyone walking though the parking lot.  She started taking photos of the damage (was there any damage?) and video taping her reaction, my reaction, the parking lot became stoppered.  Horrendous.

And I could do nothing.  I didn't have a camera, a cell phone, I didn't even know the protocol for dealing with the situation.  I vaguely remember asking some passerby to pray for me...  She must have thought I was a very lost soul.  And I didn't know what car registration looked like nor what kind of insurance Marcy had or anything and had no way to ask.

I finally had to ask to use the other driver's cellphone to call Marcy and thank goodness I had her number written on a scrap of paper in the depths of my wallet.  Would Marcy answer a non-registered incoming phone number while she is in another state on vacation?  She did.  She talked to the other owner, she exchanged information, she told me not to worry about it because their insurance would cover it.  You don't know how many times I apologized to everyone that night.

That was LAST year.

THIS year I learned to avoid the Target parking lot.  I learned to be extremely careful when in the driver's seat and I learned that I needed a cell phone of my own in case of emergencies.  Thus the Target cellphone.  (Rats... I guess I DO have to use the Target parking lot!)

Nice little phone.  Fits into my pocket well.  It was very handy when I went off to the laundromat and Marcy called to tell me the nurse was on her way or to let me know what other errand she wanted me to do while I was out.  Leiya texted me a few times, I called Leiya in Ohio once.  Takumi got in touch with me.  It is sort of nice having a cellphone while I'm in California.

Unfortunately the little cellphone was a bit too little and fit too well in my pocket so that when I washed my jeans it got washed too.  End of cellphone.  I THOUGHT!  Colin helped me stuff it into a Tupperware full of rice (we'd heard that rice draws out the moisture) and I left it there two days.  When I brought it out of the rice it worked!  Well... it called and received calls.  It no longer had a screen.  But for emergencies...  yes, I could still be reached if need be.

 Leiya even rigged a very analog way of keeping my important numbers at hand.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I slipped my cellphone into my pocket and Leiya and I took off on a morning walk.  When heading home we had to cross a major highway that we take at a sprint (no crosswalks).  We raced to the median strip but the cellphone jumped out of my pocket landing in the highway lane and though the first two cars didn't hit it...  CRUNCH... the last car's front left tire wiped out my cellphone.  It was too sad to even take a picture of...

I wasn't a very good cellphone caretaker.  I guess I will just have to stay close to home this last week of my visit.  And stay away from the Target parking lot.

Day 21 - Grandma Update

How about a Grandma update?

Between Marcy and Leiya and myself, we are coping very well with Grandma's care.  And of course the saving factor has been the hospice care.  (Thank you to everyone who pushed us to do that!)

Nurses come regularly and a simple prescription has helped immensely with the diaper changing process and pain.  No more redness, no more crying, no more changing diapers at 15 minute intervals.  Thank you nurse for that change!

The bath nurse (that's what she calls herself, she is the CNA) comes every other day and she has been absolutely wonderful!  Diaper changing, creaming up the area, changing sheets while Grandma's in bed, bathing and shampooing in bed.  And all the time she talks to mother and coos at her and is just cheerful and upbeat.

My standard question to these hospice nurses:

"How can you do this?  What's the hardest part of doing hospice care?"

I expected the CNA to say that it was the diaper changing, or the patient's attitude, or maybe the suffering that she sees.  Her answer surprised me.

"You know, I can't think of a hard part.  That sounds strange but I honestly don't find any part of the care difficult to do.  I absolutely love my job.  I have been doing it for 15 years and I have a passion for it."

And she is GOOD at it!  The whole room brightens when she walks in with a cheery greeting to Grandma.

"Hello sweetheart!  How are you feeling today?"

While the CNA bathes Grandma and washes her hair Grandma lets out numerous contented groans.

"Hmmm...  That feels so good."

I can think of no other phrase from Grandma that makes me happier.  When Leiya is massaging her feet or when the warm blankets are pulled up around her and Grandma says "That feels good." it makes me feel that we are doing things right, that the goal of hospice care which is making the person comfortable is being reached.  Grandma got her nails cut and her hands lotioned.  Hmm...  Soft...

We managed to get Grandma into her wheelchair for about 30 minutes and Leiya did a rush job on cutting her hair.

"I sure hope I have as much hair as you have when I get old Grandma."

Lookin' pretty and feelin' good!