I now turn to a small mirror mounted next to the bathroom window when putting on make-up. There used to be only enough light from the vanity mirror over the sink and now more light comes in the window.
So Tetsu and I have been trying to make the best of the situation...
Yesterday I was telling three friends about the disappearance of the forest. One friend knew ahead of time how upset I had been, it was the first for the two other friends to hear of it and they caught the end of the conversation about how I had been upset but they didn't know why.
"What happened? Have you been ill? Was there an accident? Is everyone ok?"
When I explained about the forest the one friend's reaction was,
"Oh! Don't scare me like that. A forest? That's not like someone is sick or in the hospital or something."
I get this quite a lot. Most people who walk by the land where the forest used to be say to me,
"You must be so happy to get all that light now!"
"I can understand just looking at your pictures your special love of nature and forests and while most of us wouldn't mind the loss I think from childhood you were wired to love trees..."
I was grateful for those words of understanding.
DO NOT TELL ME THESE THINGS!!! I AM TRYING TO ADJUST MYSELF TO WHAT IS LEFT AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE SOME MORE!!!
Should we think about a permanent retirement home if we could even find one to our liking (and be able to afford)? We are 64 and 66. How many years left do we have to enjoy our own home anyway? We were hoping to spend at least another 10 years here but maybe this is the time to move on...
Tetsu has always wanted to move back to Northern Japan where he grew up and where we met. Should we think about a move there? But it is SO cold in Northern Japan! I don't think I am up to icy, long winters and there are actually very few people we still know in that area. Our children have no connections with the north... Everyone's memories are here...
So... stay here and make the best of it? If the rest of the forests are cut down then... erect a fence so that I can't see out? Go ahead and enjoy the sun, plant a few trees of my own even if they will take more than 10 years to reach full height, build a sundeck for backyard sunning?
In my mind it all depends... It depends on what the landowners' next move is going to be.
We had 35 acres in walnut trees close to our house. Last year we decided to take out the orchard, as many of the trees were diseased and no longer producing. I experienced many of the feelings you are having as I saw the trees being taken out. I still miss looking out as the orchard as I do my dishes. But it does get better and I can see the mountains now off in the distance on a clear day.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your blog. Kathy B in Northern California
It is a big change, and when I first saw the photos, I was thinking that at least they left a few trees. Hopefully once the other landowners see how their property has more light, maybe they will be willing to let their trees stand. Light is good though. I had some blinds in my bedroom that fell because they broke, and the change in the lighting is amazing. I now realize that the reason those photos I admired of unmade beds always looked better than mine was due to the lighting.
ReplyDeleteYour picture of the sunlight at the top of the stairs reminded me of the very first time I read your blog. The wood on the wall was Tetsu's project to cover some cat scratching if I remember correctly. I have searched for that blog and haven't been able to find it. I wonder how many years I have followed you? I still read it every day!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you & Tetsu should take the mindset my husband and I have. He is not too far from retirement. I am self-employed. I have put us on a "five-year-plan" to help us decide what our Next Chapter will be. I have told our kids, the "Next Chapter" is not our final chapter (i.e., I want to go somewhere and rent for a year here, rent for a year there, and so on.) Our final chapter will see us moving near one of our kids in our elder years, but for now, we have a five-year plan and some exploring to do!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't plan on making drastic housing changes just yet. My husband retired last December, earlier than planned due to an offer, and this first year is one of settling into a new routine for both of us. The year is also flying by faster than I thought it would. A nice quiet retirement? Not yet! I keep asking my husband how we got everything done while he worked. We have so much going on daily that our time is full to overflowing. I can't imagine pulling up stakes in the middle of all that and trying to move. I know our years in this house are numbered, but one thing at a time. My advice is to let everything settle for awhile and not make decisions while emotions are still high. Years ago, we lost a back yard full of trees in a storm, and it was quite a shock. But by the next year, nature was already trying to fill back in by herself. Now you can't tell anything ever happened. Let things settle... Also - when you do come to the time to make a house decision - weigh the value of the friends and neighbors you have locally. They can be even harder to replace than trees.
ReplyDeleteAll those stumps and debris must be depressing but enjoy the sun. In my area, they keep building taller and taller homes on what is such a small space. My neighbor's lovely garden is now two close three-story buildings cutting off all afternoon light. My little garden space gets about an hour of sun a day ... if it is out before noon. The weed-lot I tended to the South is now a three story house and to the north-west is a big new apartment. You may have to protect bed quilts from fading in the sun.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like it was a managed forest. Will the owners replant or does it lie fallow for a while first? So interesting to see the straight rows of stumps. It will be interesting to see how fast plants will take over the open space. Throw some sunflower or wildflower seeds into the churned up soil ;-) Instead of shade, you'll have colors to look forward to.
ReplyDeleteIt is so pleasing (to me) that you have terrific suggestions from so many people. They seem to have experience in their lives, such as what you are feeling. I can't offer much, but I am watching from afar...
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