Sad news...

I didn't really want to write this blog post but all days, good and bad are part of life so here goes...

Shall I start with the hard news?  Okay...  Last Friday we had to put our cat Toi to sleep.  Yes, Toi, not Cleo who is older and weaker and whom we watch closely and are grateful he's still with us every day.   Toi has been just fine,!  That was the shock of it.  He was sleeping with me and purring on Friday early morning, I heard him get out of bed and go into the next room and suddenly there is this bumping and thumping.  I thought it was Cleo having a convulsion as he has had in the past but Cleo was still in bed with me.  I still didn't think much of it but heard the thumping go downstairs and when I went to check, there was Toi, laid out, and starting to meow.  We put him in a cage we have in case Cleo has problems and after watching him awhile it was obvious he didn't have use of his hind legs and was in pain.  

We kept Toi as quiet and comfortable as we could until the vet opened at 9:00 and even at 8:30 I was leaving a message with their answering service saying I had an emergency and was headed to the office right then.  Tetsu took us to the vets and we waited around while they did x-rays and other tests but from the very beginning we were told that there wasn't much hope... surgery usually wasn't successful, and even if it was, there was the likelihood that the same thing would happen again.

So there we were.  Toi being sedated, Tetsu and me and one of the vets watching him and discussing things like caring for him at home even though the future held pain, sepsis, no control.  You wouldn't think there would be much to discuss, but this is Japan.  Vets, pet owners in general balk at putting an animal to sleep.  Even Tetsu isn't 100% behind the idea.  

(better days)

We have had over 10 pets in our Japanese life and I know the vet and his family very well.  We have had countless discussions of the reasons behind euthanasia, usually ending with me in tears.  My vet and his staff know where I stand on this.  That it is the responsibility of the pet owner to keep the pet free from discomfort and pain and when that includes putting the pet to sleep that will be my choice.  Even so, over all these years and all our pets, we've never actually had to put a pet down (though there were a couple of times I felt I'd failed my pet and the passing went on too long.)  Whether the vet would do the deed for us was another question, but yes, he (and his daughter another vet who manages John's care for us) agreed that in this case, euthanasia would be the kindest thing for Toi. 

Tetsu and I cried tears, Tetsu wavered thinking about trying to care for Toi for his final days, but for me, the only question was when.  Now?  I feel bad saying that my thought was "I have to teach a class in two hours.  Can I put my cat down, bring home his body, leave him and Tetsu by themselves while I go off and teach?  CAN I even teach?"  That seemed cruel to Tetsu as well as impossible for me so we decided to leave Toi sedated and then we'd be back in the evening at closing time to spend Toi's final few minutes together.  

The vet prepared Toi with an IV and we petted and loved our sweet kitty up.  He meowed a couple of times but we were able to watch him drift into sleep to the sound of our voices and the touch of our hands.  It was all done so quickly.  A life is really just a moment on one side of the veil and then it's on the other side...

Toi has been buried in a corner of our backyard.  I let my neighbor (also my cat sitter) know what had happened and she later brought over a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Tetsu happened to run into her at the garbage station this morning and he said she burst into tears just at the sight of him...  The house is lonely with just John and Cleo and Cleo especially seems to notice the emptiness.  

So that was the way we spent our weekend.  Lots of tears but grateful to still have Cleo and John to keep us occupied.  Takumi and Leiya have been informed and they have been trying to keep our spirits up with video calls and long text messages. 

As for the rest of February?  Well, like most people we spent a lot of time watching the Olympics.  Japan was very excited about Riku Miura and Ryuichi Kihara who won a gold medal for Pairs Figure Skating.

We had only one snowy day where Tetsu had to go out and shovel snow.  Not too bad.  We notice climate change because when the kids were little Tetsu had many days of shoveling snow in the winter.

I might as well tell you a "funny" story about how I locked Tetsu out of the house this month...  I had planned to have lunch with some friends and even got an early start.  Tetsu moved his car out of the driveway so that I could get out and I waved goodbye as I drove away, saying I'd be home in a few hours.  I had driven about 15 minutes when a call came in to my cell phone from Tetsu.  Odd...  I answered to his annoyed voice,

"You've locked me out of the house!"

I turned around, drove home, handed him the key to the house and then took off again.  I ended up being 30 minutes late to my lunch date with friends...

What happened was when the two of us went out the front door, I LOCKED THE DOOR WITHOUT THINKING!  Usually when we go out together somewhere, it is my job to lock the front door and I unconsciously did the same even though Tetsu was only moving his car for me.  He got stuck outside (in the cold!) with no jacket, no wallet, no cell phone and no house key.  He didn't know where I'd gone to have lunch.  He checked all the downstairs windows.  Locked.  He even got out the ladder and climbed up and over it to get onto the roof and then shimmy over to a balcony wall, climb over that and check the sliding glass doors upstairs.  LOCKED!  He managed to get back down to the ground (can you imagine him falling off the roof and me coming home hours later to find him at the bottom of a ladder?  But I couldn't scold him for that move because it was my fault for him being stuck outside.)  

So....  how did Tetsu call me with his cell phone in the house?  Tetsu was struck with the idea that if he could just move his car as close to the house as possible... near to where he'd left his cell phone on the sofa... then maybe he could get the car phone to work...  AND HE DID IT!!!  I must say, that was very clever of him!  I never would have thought of that.  So all ended up well.  No falling off the roof but some very sore muscles the next day from all that climbing around!

I guess this is a long enough post...  I'll try to have brighter news the next time.  I've been doing some sewing so maybe I can show you that.  And M-san has finished a quilt so I think I can promise you eye candy the next time I write.