Great Pumpkin, where are you?

Yesterday, my friend Marlene and her neighbor came up my way and we went out looking for the Great Pumpkin.

Marlene lives in the next town over and we have been friends for nearly 15 years. Her husband is also Japanese and we both came to Japan around the same time. Our kids have grown up together and when everyone lived at home we would often have Thanksgiving dinners together. Nowadays we only seem to have time for a quick lunch or coffee together.

Marlene also teaches English in her home and every year has a big Halloween party and her English kids look forward to Halloween decorations as mine do. So... What we need are Halloween jack-o'lanterns! Every year around this time we start looking for pumpkins but it is not as easy as you might think. So far this year, neither of us has found a pumpkin so Marlene thought we'd have more luck out in my farming area than in her more populated town so we went on our treasure hunt together. (Her neighbor, Mrs. Waki, went along to watch how nutsy foreigners can get.)

Some years I've found pumpkins in some one's field and gone up to the farmhouse and scared the poor farmer worse than any Halloween ghost might have.

"Excuse me. You seem to have pumpkins. Would you sell me one or two?"

The farmer was so surprised to have a foreigner come to his door that he just gave them to me. (Marlene has even better luck. She's blond!)

A couple of years ago Marlene found some big yellow pumpkins being used for autumn decorations at the grocery store that were not for sale but she convinced the manager that he wouldn't have any use for them after Halloween anyway and she needed them now.

This year however, we aren't doing so well. We checked out three places yesterday where we've found pumpkins before but this year there was neither hide-nor-hair of a Halloween pumpkin. It's not that Halloween hasn't become popular in Japan. Plastic decorations abound, (five years ago no one had even heard of Halloween in this part of Japan) and lots of Halloween candy for exorbitant prices. Of course Japanese eat pumpkins but they are small and dark green! The stores also sell decorative orange pumpkins about the size of a tea cup and they even provide "face" stickers so that you can have a jack-o'lantern on your coffee table or somewhere. But Japan has yet to adopt the custom of putting out smiling, candle lit jack-o'lanterns on your front porch.

We've still got two weeks to search so I haven't given up yet! Great Pumpkin, I'm waiting for you!

A bit of this, a bit of that

I am enjoying a lazy morning (and yesterday was a lazy evening). Tetsu is off in Tokyo for two days so I was alone last night. (With Lemi, Velvet, Cleo, Patora and Choco. Doesn't sound very alone to me.) I'm having my cup of coffee and Choco is wandering around the house. She usually is hooked to the sofa or in her "cage/kennel" when she's in the house and gets put outside after her morning walk. Since I don't expect anyone to come over today I'd like to see how she and the cats react to her household freedom.

Do we have these nifty single coffee filters in the States? I've never looked while I'm there, but for a quick cup of nice, ground coffee these are very nice. All you do is open the top and the little pre-filled filter slips onto the coffee cup and you pour in hot water.

Ok. So much for the start of the day.

I came home from teaching yesterday and spent a little time in the sewing room cutting up squares and drawing lines on fusible interfacing. Tomorrow the kids in the Sunday School class are going to try to put together a quilt for two babies in our church. (One as yet unborn). Sometimes I wonder why I open my big mouth. I "asked" if anyone was going to do anything for the two families who have babies and then mentioned I "might" be able to figure out something that the kids could do. So..... You know who is heading the project! My idea is to cut the squares, have the kids lay them on the interfacing they way they like, iron the blocks down and I'll take it home and sew the interfacing and blocks and all. Probably I'll have to figure out a border and maybe next week we can tie the quilts. If I'm industrious I may even iron some beige blocks to freezer paper and have the kids draw pictures on them with crayons. You realize we are talking about three kindergartners, a second grader, possibly a fourth grader and a fifth grader. I don't need another project (or two) but even thinking about it I get kind of excited. "Can we really do it?"

And I also sewed wonky hearts while I was up there in the sewing room. The first three I had absolutely no idea what I was doing even following Tonya's instructions. By the fifth I finally understood the process and I think by the eighth I could do them without looking at the instructions. Sometimes I'm surprised at how dense I am. You would think after all the wonky blocks I've made I'd understand the theory behind the things! They do look like hearts don't they?

Lunch with friends

I'm off early so this is a quickie today. Yesterday was a great day!

Wednesday I told a friend that October 11th was my 30th anniversary in Japan and she arranged to get a couple of other friends together to take me out to lunch. Such a lovely time and my friends asked lots of questions about my coming to Japan etc. I'm sure they'd heard it all before but they were letting me have my day and listened patiently. Great lunch (Thai curry!) and look at the lovely presents they gave me! A cute little book featuring a dog and cat living together with their differences. Isn't that perfect?! And a lovely silver cross to represent my missionary start in Japan. Such thoughtful friends! We've known each other since our kids were in kindergarten together so at least 18 of my 30 years I've had the privilege to call them friends!

30 years

Today is October 11th but to no one else but me it is a landmark day. Even Tetsu sort of just said "Oh". Today I am celebrating my 30th anniversary of living in Japan! Remember, I am 52 not 60 years old so I've lived longer in Japan than I have in America. So, how true a foreigner am I?

For one thing. A "foreigner" in Japan can never be Japanese. Since everyone is going to look at me and treat me as a foreigner anyway, I'm not going to try to become Japanese either by completely changing my mannerisms or by law. I have American citizenship and always will.

But I do do many things the Japanese way in order to live peacefully in my neighborhood and family (I have a very traditional husband). In the little things that don't matter however, I stick with my American ways. Since many people are interested in what Americans think and are like anyway, why disappoint them, so I am overly friendly with strangers, my clothing tends to be a little louder than my Japanese neighbors, I answer the telephone with "Hello" or "Good morning!" I am slightly dishonest when someone calls trying to sell me something and will speak to them in a more pronounced foreign accent than usual "I'm sorry, I'm a foreigner. My Japanese isn't very good." Usually the salesmen give up right away or in some cases they'll hang up just hearing that first "Hello!" I guess you'd say I use my foreignness to my advantage.

There are times when I've felt that knowing the two cultures is a curse. This is usually when I'm disgruntled with some custom and I grumble that I'd be better off not even knowing the way things are done in the States, I'd probably be more contented. To know that one way is weird but to be able to do nothing about it and look at the other way with envy all the time is a very miserable way to live. There were times when I wondered if giving my children the opportunity to see two cultures was just going to make them unhappy with life in general.

I'm sure my American friends and family would say I've become very Japanese and a little strange. I serve my brother first and he thinks I'm nuts. I don't buy sleeveless blouses or anything with spaghetti straps or that is tight not only because my figure doesn't do it justice but because people my age don't dress like that in Japan. I don't confront people if I disagree with them and have picked up the Japanese custom of being vague and at the same time cooperative. I have an American "friend" here in Japan whom I've exchanged words with just because she thinks I'm too Japanese and need to take a stand on issues that I close my eyes to. She sees me as being hypocritical. I think of myself as being accepting. Her words "You're just too Japanese!" I found somewhat hurtful.

It used to bother me that I'd hear the same line from Japanese friends too. "Tanya is more Japanese than real Japanese." or "Gee, sometimes I forget that you're foreign Tanya, and am amazed at what great English you speak!" Those comments were supposed to be compliments but I took it as "why do you think being Japanese might be better than being what I really am?" Nowadays, I accept the compliment as it was meant to be.

Sometimes I wonder if could ever go back and live in the States. This is a moot question since Tetsu has no desire to spend more than a week in the States. Even that is stressful for him. "These crazy American customs!" But I think I probably could. As I said, I'm really very adaptable.

Definitely my 30 years in Japan have meant I've had an interesting life and that's probably true for people who know me and live with me too. My mother constantly has said how enriched her life has been because I've always told her about Japanese life, the different customs and my thoughts in general. Tetsu too, seems to think I'm his personal walking commentator on American life and he is constantly asking me what Americans think about this or that issue. Hey, mister! I haven't lived there in 30 years! But he comes to his own conclusions about what Americans think just by seeing my reactions to things. (Is he being misled...?) And I think my kids too, have gained from having parents from two cultures Just being able to have traveled to the States every summer of their lives is a plus right?

By the way, that picture at the top is one of the first pictures of me after I came to Japan. Look what 30 years has done to me! It sounds like a long time but actually the time has gone by quickly. Hey! "Home is where your heart is!"

Getting confused

Thank you for all the nice words and encouragement yesterday. You know, I didn't really mean to be melancholy, and no, I didn't spend the day just reflecting on the past. I think the old saying "Time heals all wounds" is true. Maybe not all, maybe not completely healed but as time goes by the hard memories become easier to deal with. I think this is a good lesson to remember. People think they will never get over something but in my own experience I can say, "Hey, I laugh a lot. I have a lot of fun." And I can say along with Mrs. Goodneedle. "Life is Good!!!"

I got a minimum amount of sewing in yesterday. I guess I didn't show you all the letters I'd made over the weekend for my last phrase (which I quoted wrong so I made a replacement word yesterday too.) I have made all the letters I'm going to make! (At least for this quilt.) Now to put them in some order. Are they going to go across in sentences? Are they going together vertically? Are they going to go around in the border? I need to make some decisions and write it down because the cats think I'm playing with them down there on the floor and the blocks get moved by themselves!

I also made another block for the When-oh-When quilt. I don't know how people like Anne keep their projects straight. I haven't thought about this quilt for what, two weeks? Is that any reason to forget entirely what I was doing? I mean, I couldn't remember if I was cutting strips 2" or 3 1/2" or what. And was I really planning to use that dull brown or did I have some green somewhere? It took me awhile but I made a block and it seems to be the right size. This will teach me to stay with a quilt to the end. (But if I stay with the When-oh-When, I'm going to forget what I was doing with the Wonky Quilt. Oh my gosh! Do I remember the measurements for the Feathered Star quilt? Those blocks are hidden away somewhere too!)

And look what my nice neighbor brought to my door yesterday. This is the neighbor whose name I don't know but I've determined he doesn't really want me to know. I asked him and he said "call me Yuzu's (the dog) dad." another time he said "Call me Yumetaro. That's my stage name. Ahaha!" Anyway this is a little doll vest that the older ladies (obaachan) at the Day Care Center where he works made. In Japanese it is called a Chanchanko. Children especially would wear these in the winter though you don't see them much anymore. When the Obaachans were young they must have made them for their own children. Now they make doll clothes to pass the time away.

October 9

I'm not real sure about my post today. I try to keep my topics upbeat but it is a part of life that sad things happen too. I just thought that since today is her birthday I'd share that our first daughter died a couple of months after she was born. She would have been 25 today.

Maya was born with health problems that weren't caught until a week after her birth. This means we brought her home after the required week in the hospital, had one night with her at home and the next night we were racing from hospital to hospital trying to find out what had gone so terribly wrong. Emergency surgery was performed with very little hope that she would live and we called our pastor to come and baptize her at 4:00 am. I remember the dear man arriving in his pajamas!

When I recall now, I wonder how we got through those days. My Japanese was limited and there were so many things I didn't understand. Tetsu's mother came to help because in Japan all those soiled sheets and diapers had to be taken home to be washed. She scrubbed those things until they were pure white and even the nurses were surprised at how clean the laundry was that I brought back each day.

To make a long story short, Maya didn't live past the second month. More customs to be dealt with like being handed a lifeless baby and told to go home and have another. Cremation ceremonies that I didn't think I could bear. Away from family though they urged me to come home. But I kept thinking that Tetsu was experiencing the same grief. How could I leave him even for a few weeks to relieve my own sorrow?

For a while I stubbornly said I would never have children again and Tetsu was fine with that. We never fell away from our faith though we certainly questioned God for awhile. When Takumi was born three years later I'm surprised we didn't smother him with worry and fear! It's amazing that he turned out fairly normal! And with Leiya, we tried to make sure that she never felt that she was a replacement for another daughter.

Maya's short life is a part of us that we never forget, but it is hard to just add to the conversations... "by the way... our first child..."

I'm grateful for all three of my children and the lessons I've learned through their lives.

Curry Rice

If you surveyed a group of kids, what do you think would be the all time favorite food? Or to put it another way, if you were holding an event for a lot of people what would you make that everyone liked, that could serve a hundred or more? The answer to both questions if you live in Japan is curry rice!

This seems strange to me since in general Japanese food is rather delicate and bland. But it's true that Japanese curry rice is very popular and I have always loved it. Almost anywhere you go, to bazaars, to cook outs, to festivals etc. there will be a curry rice booth and the supermarkets sell at least 20 different types of curry "blocks" to suit the different tastes. I have loads of memories dealing with curry.

Japanese curry is very different from true Indian or Thai curry. Basically what you do to make it is fry up some onions and meat, add water and carrots and potatoes. Simmer til soft and then add the curry block which contains all the flavorings and thickeners. (It looks like a large chocolate bar!) Then serve over rice. A fairly simple meal that just means peeling vegetables and cutting them up. Japanese curry is very thick which I think is the biggest difference from authentic curries.

For all this simplicity, I remember one time when I was on a committee to make curry rice for the kindergarten bazaar. It seemed a simple job. Buy the ingredients cut them up, boil them awhile and add the block. But it turned out there were connoisseurs of curry in the group and a few mothers had their own curry idiosyncrasies. Someone insisted you must use pork and sliced pork at that, no cubes. Someone wanted chicken, some felt the meat had to marinate. Then the way you cut vegetables. No slice or cubed carrots please, they had to be random cut so as to expose as much of a cutting edge as possible! And heaven forbid if you added potatoes at the same time as the carrots! Then there is the all time favorite in Japanese cooking of skimming off the foam from simmered dishes. (My mother was never much of a cook so I don't know if I just wasn't raised right or if this is just not an American custom.) You must spend 30 minutes (no less!) skimming off the offensive foam before adding the curry block and don't tell me you are barbarian enough to forgo the careful shaving of the block and just throw it into the pot! I truly felt at the end of the bazaar, that a lot of friendships went down the drain because of the snide remarks made about other people's way of making curry!

Another memory of curry. When the kids were little we used to go camping with a tent and make a little campfire at a campground. It seemed that all the families, ours included, had to make curry for dinner. True, I said in the above paragraph that curry is easy to make, but that's when you have a kitchen! I can't think of a more complicated dish to make at the campground! No running water to wash vegetables or at most a trickle from the campground faucet! You had to carry with you a large knife, a cutting board, sometimes your own water, of course meat and vegetables and curry, and for heaven's sake don't forget the rice that has to be cooked (not burned by the way) over the campfire in another pot! Paper plates won't hold the soupiness nor the weight of the dish to begin with so you needed bowls and spoons and then for clean-up, scrub brushes to wash the messy inside of the pot, the burned (rats! I over timed it again!) rice pot and of course all the soot off the bottom of the pots. What a circus! Why didn't we just bring hot dogs and buns?! But that's not what you do at a Japanese campground. You make curry. It was always a tortuous time for me.

A couple of days ago I made biryani from Shelina's recipe. I'm not sure what it was supposed to taste like but it turned out quite nicely. Sort of like a thick curry. Definitely more work than if I'd gone to the supermarket and bought the block, but it seemed more authentic than Japanese curry to me. I added canned tomatoes rather than fresh. I never found cilantro, coriander, mint or saffron. I added eggplant to mine. It must have been good because Tetsu ate two meals of it and besides the comment that the rice was different (I'd added star anise and cinnamon which I don't think he expected) he seemed to like it a lot. Sometime when I'm not rushed for time, I think I may do this again instead of Japanese curry.

"Gochisousama deshita!" ("Thank you for the delicious meal!")